Getting to Know Each Other

We decided to stay put today, in our little apartment, and just get to know our son better. We wanted to allow him some quiet time to just be with us, bond and transition to his new environment.

I woke him up at 7am for his first bottle and decided that this might be my new favorite hour of the day. He was so sleepy and snuggly, burrowing his little head into my chest and wrapping his tiny hand around my finger. I've also discovered that he loves to have me change his diaper and we turn it into a little bonding time, leaving his soft legs bare a bit longer so I can kiss his toes and chubby little thighs. He smiles and reaches for me and we spend a good ten minutes just loving each other. He was very happy this morning, initially, and we had such fun playing together.

He's got two bottom teeth coming in and I think they are causing him some grief. He got a bit fussy mid morning, and refused to eat his morning snack. So, we got him dressed and put him in the Baby Bjorn for a walk around our apartment complex. We stayed inside, but walked up and down the halls of the eight floors, stopping to take in the stunning views of the mountains and the city from several large windows. Eli seemed to enjoy the walking, and we stopped in at the office to introduce him to Luis, the day manager. 

When we returned, we were able to FaceTime with some of my teacher friends at work. It was so nice to be able to introduce them to Eli and hear their familiar voices. He started to fuss again near lunch time and once again refused to eat most of his lunch. I did manage to get him to drink some juice and he went down for his nap around 12:30 with no problem and slept until 2:30pm. 

The afternoon was play time. We read a book, played with his little dog, practiced his crawling across the floor to me (he's getting pretty good!), sang songs, and made funny sounds at each other. We talked to more friends on FaceTime and Skype, the DesJardins and the Whartons, as well. 

Jamie and Eli hung out for a bit before dinner so I could talk with my mom. My grandfather was taken to the hospital last night, so we had a bit of a scare, but he's doing better today and my grandmother is going to stay with my parents until he's ready to be released. Today was my grandma's birthday, so we talked to her as well and Jamie and I sang "Happy Birthday" in harmony over the phone while Eli watched with big eyes. 

We tried to feed Eli again around 5pm and finally had success. He responded to the whole airplane game and managed to eat most of his food and drink some more juice. We had made plans to walk up to the 6th floor around 6pm and visit our new friend Maria Christina with Eli. This was a nice little change of scenery and Eli loved hearing Maria Christina speak me and Maria Christina.

When we returned to the apartment, Jamie began preparing our dinner (which is no small feat in our tiny kitchen!) and I played with Eli on the couch for a good hour or so. We just studied each other and played with his natural rubber squeak toy- Sophie the Giraffe, which also serves as a great teether. When we were packing to come here, I had gone to our pharmacy and asked them what kind of medicines I should have on hand for a 9 month old. (Eli is 9 months old today!) One of the things they recommended was something to help with the discomfort of teething. I found an organic option by Babyganics and brought along two packs of the stuff. Its just a little gel to rub on his gum where the teeth are popping through, but it seemed to help and he was much happier after I dabbed some on those bottom teeth. 

We had a grand time hanging out together until about 7:45, and then I gave him his bottle which he gulped down willingly. He was falling asleep as I changed him for bed and went down quietly at 8pm. Jamie and I sat down around 8:30 for our own dinner and now we are headed to bed until the midnight feeding. We're very curious to see how he does tonight. Hopefully, he won't be quite so scared when he wakes up tonight. 

All in all, it was a very good day. I sort of lose track of time here and fall into just being, which is such an unexpected gift. Being with Eli...such a blessing. 

LOVE

Nothing prepares you for this moment. You think about it, imagine it, hear stories of others who've walked this path...

But, until you are handed your future, until you see the love of your life, your husband, transformed into a father...

Until you realize that your loss, your empty ache, your waiting, no longer define you...

Until your child finds you and looks into your eyes...

And you he smiles and laughs and reaches for you...

You don't really know what adoption means.
Today, life changed forever. I am a different woman than I was yesterday. My husband and I, always a team, always friends, have a deeper, more purposeful partnership. Instant parenthood does that. It is sink or swim and who wouldn't dive into those beautiful eyes without a second thought?!!

Our heads are full of wonder and our hearts are full of love. We have a son.

We woke up this morning around seven am, nervous and happy. We received a phone call around 9am that Maria Teresa de Perez, our driver, would be picking us up at 10:50am to take us to FANA. By then, we had already eaten breakfast and we had been killing time reading parenting books to each other while we waited for that phone call.

Once we knew that our appointment was around 11:30am, we started moving quickly. We had already showered and prepared and Jamie had packed a bag for Eli the night before.  We just had to change into our presentation outfits and we were out the door to meet Maria Teresa in the parking garage of our hotel. We stopped by the main office, and the room of an English speaking friend we'd made, Maria Christina, to drop off some cookies and thank you notes. Everyone here has been so helpful and kind to us. After our quick gratitude stops, we went down to the lower level garage to wait for Maria Teresa. This is when I started to feel the gravity of the situation. My stomach was churning, I felt slightly dizzy and my heart was racing! We were finally going to meet our son!

We had been warned that everything in Colombia moves a little slower than in the US and that their schedules are a bit more flexible than we are used to. But, by 11:10am, we were getting worried. We walked up to the street and tried to talk to the guards at the gates of the hotel about our situation, thinking that perhaps we had missed our ride. In the process, Maria Teresa must have passed us and she was now looking for us in the garage! We did finally connect around 11:20...traffic was very bad for some reason was worse than usual around La Fontana, and she apologized for being late. We also apologized for not being where she had expected to find us! She called FANA to tell them we were on our way and took an alternate route to avoid some of the traffic. It is about a twenty minute ride to FANA from the apartment, which is located in the Suba district of Bogotá. Suba used to be its own town until the 1940s, and as you drive out of the center of the city, the landscape changes to roadside fruit stands, crowded tenement style housing, bumpier roads, green, lush foliage and less traffic. Because Colombia was playing Japan in the World Cup today, every street we drove down was flooded with people in their bright yellow soccer jerseys. It was a very festive atmosphere.

The Entrance to FANA

FANA is currently under construction, as they are moving the "Hogar" (their home for unwed mothers) into the same building as the children's facility. We pulled off the road and down into a parking garage that was filled with old furniture, probably due to the move. Upstairs, we found a large, open atrium space with lots of light and windows. Above this, was a floor of offices, and the green room. Maria Teresa led us straight to the green room and told us that we would probably wait for a bit. In the meantime, she copied our passports and had us sign a few documents. Then Maria Teresa de Maldonado (this Maria Teresa is not our driver, but is one of the directors of staff at FANA) came in to welcome us. She told us that we would be meeting, shortly, with Lorena Panqueva Hoyos, the resident doctor at FANA and also the nutritionist to discuss Eli's diet and schedule.

The Green Room at FANA

As we waited nervously, pacing the room and looking at all the photos of past referrals, we saw a beautiful young girl peek into the green room and smile. She had a Colombian soccer jersey on and was there with a whole group of people. Maria Teresa de Maldonado returned and introduced us to Camilla, her parents, and her friends. Camilla had been adopted from FANA as a baby. She grew up in Washington, D.C. and had returned now, at 19 years of age, to receive her personal records and visit FANA. She was also going to assist in our presentation, along with two other beautiful young ladies, Laura and Lena, who had also made the same journey. Camilla's parents looked at us, knowingly, through tear filled eyes and congratulated us. They said it seemed like it had just been yesterday that they had been waiting, like us, in the green room for their daughter. Having this family and the young ladies and their friends there was somehow very comforting. Perhaps, in large part, because they spoke English and they completely understood our wild emotions at that time. But, having three FANA children, grown and beautiful and self-composed, there to present our own FANA child to us, felt so special and the experience connected us to the larger adoption community in a way we can't really find words for. Let us just say we are so thankful that it happened this way.

Camilla

Next, Lorena, Eli's doctor, met with us and reviewed his medical history with us. It was such a pleasure to meet her, in person, as we had spoken many times on the phone. Jamie and I both found her to be absolutely charming. She so obviously invested in her FANA kids and spoke about Eli with such care and concern. She explained that things were a bit disorganized today, due to the moving, construction, and a field trip that the older children were supposed to go on, so the nutritionist was unavailable to meet with us. She did print out a schedule with food suggestions for us and answered the questions we were able to come up with in our blur of anxiety and anticipation. After she left, Camilla and the others disappeared for a bit and we waited, alone. For me, it seemed like everything suddenly went into slow motion. I could hear my heart beating and my pulse, which had been racing all day, suddenly slowed. I felt this sense of calm come over me and then the tears...

Maria Teresa de Maldonado came in and motioned for us to step back, around the corner, so that we wouldn't see the procession coming down the hall. Several staff members gathered around the entrance to the room and there was the snap of photos and a sweet teenage boy, a friend of Camilla's, backed into the room, recording everything on my iPhone...and then, there he was! Cradled in Laura's arms and flanked by a beaming Camilla and Lena, was our perfectly handsome, wide-eyed, serene little boy, Elias James Holden.

The Presentation

Laura placed Eli in my arms and I pressed my face to his, taking in the warmth, the smell and the weight of his little body next to mine. The beauty of that moment was breathtaking. I felt a complete surrender as years of protective walls tumbled down around this innocent, accepting little angel. I passed him to Jamie and he immediately locked eyes with his daddy and turned up the corners of his mouth in a little smile as Jamie made silly faces and sounds for him.

The rest is a little fuzzy. There were pictures and well wishes...I bounced Eli up into the air and back down and he grinned for me. I commented, "Oh, he likes to bounce!" Maria Teresa Maldonado very sternly corrected me, "No. Not here." Confused, I asked, "There's no bouncing here?" "No," she replied, this time with a half smile, "You can bounce him if you like, but we don't do that here." I quickly stilled my body and stifled a giggle as Jamie gave me the "Nice move, Heather" look. Then, we snuggled him into our new Baby Bjorn carrier and we were saying goodbye and headed back to the car with our driver, the other Maria Teresa (de Perez).

On the way out to the car, I asked Maria Terese de Perez, "So, you don't bounce babies in Colombia?" She smiled and replied, "No. You American mothers sway back and forth (demonstrating) and bounce, bounce, bounce. But, not here. It is not good for the mom. The baby likes it, but then the mom has to do it all the time!" Aha!!! Smart women here in Colombia! But, try as I might, I cannot stop swaying or bouncing my beautiful baby. Guess it is culturally ingrained! Anyway, he likes it and so do I. So, this mama is gonna bounce!

Since car seats are not used in Colombia, Jamie kept Eli in the carrier most of the way home. As we got back toward the hotel and the traffic slowed down, we noticed that he was getting a little overheated. So we opened the carrier and I put him on my lap. He stared out the window, taking everything in. He has only been outside of FANA once or twice for a trip to the hospital, so all of the sounds and sights were very new to him. Near the end of the ride, he began to focus on me, grabbing my hair and having a gibberish conversation with me. He also immediately attached to the little dog we had brought for him and kept a firm grip on it, often putting one of the dogs ears often in his mouth! Jamie and I were able to make him laugh a few times and he seemed quite content, but a little tired. He had missed his nap due to the presentation, so as soon as we got into the apartments, we changed him into some comfy clothes and put him down in his crib, as we had been advised. He rolled around for a bit and jabbered (Jamie and I took turns peeking into the room, watching his every move) and then he was sound asleep and napped for over an hour. I think he would have slept longer, but we wanted to try to get him back on his schedule, so I woke him up and we gave him a little snack which he ate with no fuss or complications.

The afternoon and evening were spent communicating with family and playing on the floor with Eli. Jamie ran out to a different grocery store and bought us more fruits and vegetables so we could use our baby bullet and prepare some more foods for Eli. We had previously purchased the formula FANA recommended, Nan 2, but he is down to only 3 seven ounce bottles a day, the rest of his diet is comprised of real foods! He has two little bottom teeth coming in, so he's drooling a bit and often has his tongue rolling over his lower gum. We couldn't believe how interactive he was with us, after his nap. We had an amazing evening with him, watching him begin to crawl toward his little dog, and getting him to laugh and make noises with both of us. We are mesmerized by him. We love to just watch him discover his surroundings. He has such a sweet demeanor and his little smile and dimple completely melt me.

He went down easily at 8pm, as scheduled, and he woke up, right on time, again at midnight for his last bottle. From 12:00am-1:15am he had his first melt down. I think he woke up and realized he didn't know where he was and didn't recognize our voices. His room was dark and quiet and I'm unsure of the details of his former sleep environment. But, at any rate, he was exhausted and inconsolable. He drank most of his bottle, but after that, it was just crying and thrashing. We rotated shifts of holding and consoling him, letting him cry in his crib while rubbing his back, and then leaving him alone in the crib for a few minutes. Around 1am, he fell asleep for a few minutes in Jamie's arms and then woke with a shudder and started crying again. We decided to try to let him cry himself to sleep. The plan was to give it a solid ten minutes, even though it was 1am and we were pretty sure our neighbors hated us by now. I stayed in the bed in his room, but out of his sight and Jamie went back into our room to get some sleep. It didn't even take five minutes and Eli was fast asleep, with me right behind him! We all slept soundly until 7am, when I woke him for his morning bottle.

To be honest, I expected much worse for his first night in a new environment, lacking everything familiar to him. I have to say I'm a pretty proud mama right now. I believe God heard my prayers and our little boy is brave and resilient. Now, all we have to do is keep up our part of the bargain and continue to be patient and accepting of whatever his process is. Today was bliss. Whatever tomorrow brings, I will hold today in my heart and know that this love I am experiencing will only deepen and grow with time. Screaming or laughing, my son is an incredible gift. I'm so honored to be his mama.

Mañana

We started the day with breakfast here in our apartment. We spent a leisurely morning reading parenting books, making a grocery list, returning emails, and blogging. We warmed up our dinner leftovers for lunch around noon and decided to go back to the mall across the street and walk around for a bit. The weather here is cool and we had wanted to buy a jacket for Eli to bring here, but had trouble finding one in late May-early June in Buffalo. We did secure several sweatshirts and light sweaters, but not a coat. So, we spent an hour or so looking around the mall and found a perfect red jacket for Eli. It makes us both smile. It will be a little big, as the smallest available size was 1 year, but we figured we could use it well into November in Buffalo.

Éxito, the grocery store, is connected to the mall, so that was our next stop. We must have spent an hour and a half in there trying to find the ingredients on our list, some to no avail. Apparently, the following items do not exist in Bogotá, or at least not at Éxito: Bacon (Are you kidding me??? Two months without bacon? We are in BIG trouble!), cayenne pepper, chili powder, chicken sausage, black beans (canned or dry) and spinach. The grocery shopping and cooking here is definitely challenging and we were completely exhausted after that excursion, but we were also proud of ourselves! We are being flexible and making it work. Tonight, we had fresh organic scrambled eggs with some sort of cheese and fried pork bits that tasted nothing like bacon! But, it was hot, fresh food and we aren't going hungry. :) In any event, all complaints will cease tomorrow when we have our little Eli in our arms! Who cares about food?!!

After cleaning up dinner, we skyped with both of our families and now we are headed to bed. Our driver and translator, Maria Teresa de Perez, called us tonight to let us know that she would be calling again in the morning with a definite appointment time for Eli's "presentation." It will either be in the morning around 11am or later, around 2pm. Either way, we want to be rested and ready for the most important moment in our lives- meeting our son for the first time!

To be honest, we don't know, precisely, how tomorrow will play out. We have been told to bring Eli's visa payment, our passports, and a nice outfit for Eli to wear. We know that we will meet with the staff at FANA first and take care of any necessary business, and then we will go to the "green room," to wait for our son to be presented to us. All of the FANA families speak of the green room with such awe and reverence. For, it is in the green room that your family begins. It is the adoption birthing room. While we wait, our child will be changed into his new outfit, carried into the room, and placed in our arms. Our family will finally be united, tomorrow.

Tonight, as we get ready to turn out the lights, we wonder if Eli received some extra attention today. We know that as happy as tomorrow will be, it is also an ending for our little boy. He will be saying "goodbye" to the only world he's ever known, all the familiar faces who cared for him, the smells and sounds he's grown accustomed to, and his little playmates at FANA. Before I fall asleep, I'll pray for my son's courage and strength. I'll pray that we can make him smile and laugh, that he will not be too scared when we drive away from FANA, and that God will bless him with resiliency. I will also pray for Jamie and I. I'll ask for patience and for acceptance. I'll pray that we are able to trust the process, even if it reveals itself to be more difficult than we anticipated. I will pray for blessings on my family and finally I will give gratitude, I will thanks to my God for this goodness. I know that starting tomorrow, my experience of Love will be changed forever.

Tomorrow.

Journey to Colombia

Saturday, June 21st, 2014
We woke up around 7am, after packing until 1:30am, and talked a bit as Jamie made us our last breakfast at home: bacon, eggs and coffee. There's nothing I like better than the smell and sound of bacon sizzling in the kitchen and as Jamie cooked and I organized our adoption documents at the kitchen table, I thought about bringing Eli into our home and how he will experience all of the sounds, sights and smells of his new life with us. Although FANA is a very nurturing and warm environment, as far as institutions go, our little boy has rarely been outside the confines of FANAs walls. He has shared a room with many other children and all of their sounds and sights. He's been loved and held and fed and changed by a whole team of staff members, rather than a mama and daddy. I'm sure, as wonderful as it is for him and for us, it will be a bit of a culture shock and we will need to allow him some transition time.

After breakfast, we cleaned up our little house for the last time and Jamie mowed our lawn. Our friend, Angela, stopped by with little 4 month old Chloe, to say goodbye for the summer. Then, Jamie and I dressed and carried our considerable luggage down to the back door.

My mom arrived around 10am with my eleven year old nephew, Malachi, to see the completed nursery and accompany us to the airport. Malachi was the first baby in our family and he holds a very special place in my heart. I was only able to get pregnant once, twelve summers ago, and my sister happened to get pregnant at the same time! We would have been due within weeks of each other. Although we lost the pregnancy, we received the greatest blessing in Malachi's birth. I am certain, beyond a doubt, that Malachi was the child that needed to be born at that time. His presence in our family, in many ways, saved all of us: my sister, Malachi's dad, Chad, my self, Jamie, and my parents. We experienced such Love and joy in Malachi's being. He became all of ours and Jamie and I have been fully invested in his upbringing. He is our boy, in so many ways. And now, we have two more wonderful nephews and a beautiful niece to add to that Love. These children and all of the others that we work within our family and at our schools have filled our hearts as we waited for the child who was meant for our home, for our every day and every night. It seems the heart just keeps growing, expanding to embrace each new face, each little hand and gleeful laugh. I feel like loving Eli might just make me burst! All of the walls will tumble and the love will overspill into all the little details, the minutia of my life. I am so excited to bring this child into our world.

For Malachi's part, he is the perfect age to understand and participate in the experience. He was anxious to check out what we used to call "his room" and see how we had transformed it into Eli's nursery. Notice how we left the day bed in the room for Malachi and any other overnight visitors we might have ("Oma", you know I'm talking about you). That was my day bed from the time I turned 13 until we moved it out of my childhood bedroom to our first house in Hamburg, NY. It became Malachi's bed when he was born and we would frequently take him for weekend visits. The bed moved with me to the Hertel Avenue apartment, where Malachi also had a room, and then into our current house in Tonawanda, where he and his sister, Lydia, have taken turns using it on their overnight visits. I like that it is now a part of Eli's space, a tangible connection to his cousins and to his mama's childhood.

At 10:30am, Jamie's parents arrived and helped us load up all the luggage. We had so many bags that Jamie and I couldn't fit in their car with the suitcases! So, I rode to the airport with my mom and Malachi and Jamie went with the Holdens. We all stood in the driveway and embraced, tearfully. It was hard to believe that we were saying goodbye to our little house for the summer, and that the next time we pulled in the driveway, we'd have our son with us!

We got to the airport around 11:20am and I immediately started telling anyone we encountered that we were traveling to adopt our son! Jamie lovingly laughed at me as I kept welling up and telling the story again and again to anyone who asked our reason for traveling. We made it through security with no problems, and waved good bye to our families as we began the careful maneuvering of a bagged stroller (pictured in Dick Holden's hands in the above picture) a carry on suitcase, an over packed diaper bag, and a backpack stuffed with diapers and such through the airport to our gate. Our flight was at 1:25, so we had time to grab one last meal in Buffalo. We thought it was quite fitting that it be at the airport's satellite location of Buffalo's famous Anchor Bar. Our flight began boarding just as we were walking down to the gate, so we got right in line. It took some doing to get my pudgy suitcase into the overhead compartment and our back pack and diaper bag barely fit under the seats, but we managed to do it and we buckled in for our flight to Atlanta, arriving at 3:15pm.

We saved over $200 on each of our flights by opting for an eight hour layover in Atlanta and subsequently, a "red-eye" flight into Bogotá, arriving at 3:40am. Unfortunately, the long layover meant that our bags could not be checked through both flights, so we had to go claim them in Atlanta and re-check them, passing through security one more time, as well. An additional inconvenience was the six hour limit on checking bags before a flight. We had two hours to kill, with seven bags between us, before we could check back in. Surprisingly, this all went very smoothly and quickly, with the help of two rented luggage carts. We grabbed our bags, carted them and steered to an area full of comfy couches and arm chairs where we rested with Starbucks coffees, the laptop and some books  for two hours. At 6pm, we checked the luggage and sailed through security for the second time so that by 6:30pm we were settled comfortably at our gate and I was able to spend the next few hours catching up with the blogging.

One more over-priced airport meal and then we were boarding our plane to Colombia at 11:40pm! The plan had been to sleep as much as possible on the last leg of our journey, but there was very little leg room with our huge bags and we were both pretty restless with excitement. We napped a little on and off, and I watched the whole movie "Labor Day" on the nifty screen on the back of the chair in front of me. The same screen also played music, so I discovered a fantastic Portugese singer Cesaria Evora, and enjoyed an entire album of her sultry, mesmerizing tunes. They served us a hot breakfast around 3am, and I spent the last twenty minutes of the flight utilizing the Berlitz "game" option on my screen to practice Spanish words and phrases!

We arrived on time in Bogotá, exhausted but happy. The nice thing about arriving in the middle of the night is there are virtually no lines to wait in. Getting through immigration was easy, getting out of the airport proved to be more difficult! We had to wait awhile for all of our luggage to make it to the claim area and there were no carts available for our seven bags this time, so it was quite a feat for us to simply move forward with all of our belongings! We had filled out our declaration of goods forms on the airplane as instructed: one per person for the "Impuesto de Timbre Nacional" (tax form) and one per family to register the value of what we were bringing into the country. However, as we were attempting to exit the airport and the forms were being collected, the guard suddenly began telling American families only that they needed one form per person rather than one per family. The form said right on it, in English and in Spanish, "one per family." However, we were sent back to get another form and fill it out for me. Meanwhile, the driver FANA had arranged for us, Patrícia, was wondering around the lobby with a "Holdens" sign and wondering where in the world we had wandered off to! Somewhere around 4:30am we managed to connect with Patrícia, load everything into her van and begin our bumpy ride through an empty, middle of the night city to La Fontana and the Plentitud Apartments, where we would be living for the next two months.

Patrícia was very kind to us, although it was obvious she was also tired, and we did our best to communicate with her in Spanish. For most of the ride, we were quiet, as we took the reality of the situation in, with wide, blurry, sleep deprived eyes. We pulled into the gate at Plentitud around 5am, and Patricía explained to the guard who we were. Next stop was a Porter who asked for our reservation number. Since Maria Teresa de Maldonado at FANA had made the reservation for us, we didn't have a number, only an email from her confirming that she had called and reserved our apartment and giving us the cost per month. We showed the porter the email and he went and made some phone calls. For some reason, there seemed to be an issue and the porter could not find a reservation for us. After 10-15 minutes of his phone calls, we were asked to drive into the complex and wait by an elevator for the administrator to come and talk to us. At this point, I was starting to get pretty nervous. We were well overdue for some sleep and our bodies were aching from the small quarters on the plane and lugging our heavy bags through three airports. I just wanted a bed! Any bed would've been fine...

Fortunately, the "administrator" turned out to be a very pleasant man who said he would "fix it" and seemed to know about our arrival. We said goodbye to Patricía, who hugged me warmly and told us to call her or her husband Jorgé if we needed anything. Jorgé and Patricía have been working with FANA for many years and they are our "go to" tour guides or assistance should we need to locate an item, a person, or a location in the Bogotá area. Their phone number is listed in our travel packet and we will be calling them, in the future, to accompany us on some sight seeing excursions.

The administrator moved us quickly upstairs, out of the garage area, and to his office. He processed our paperwork quickly, we paid our first month's bill with a credit card (this is an advantage to staying here as many of the other hotels only accept pesos), and we were escorted to our apartment. It was almost 6am when I kicked off my shoes and burrowed under the covers of a surprisingly comfy and fresh sheeted bed. I think I remember Jamie saying something about unpacking, but I was asleep before I could respond! He must have followed suite, because we woke, side by side at 9:30am to a room full of luggage and pangs of hunger.

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014
We cleaned up a bit and headed down to the office again to ask about getting breakfast. A new administrator, Luis Guillermo, was on duty and he was very friendly. He sent us across the street to a little bakery/cafe "Pan Pa Yá" for our first Colombian breakfast. I ordered hot chocolate, a ham and cheese omelet, and orange juice. Jamie was more adventurous and went with a soup comprised of a beef based broth with scallions and potatoes and a hunk of beef rib stuck in it! It was actually delicious. The counter waitress who helped us order also convinced us to try a fresh hot pastry which was sort of like a crescent role but when you bite it, warm melted cheese oozes out. It was heavenly!

 Jamie at Pan Pa Yá!

The Plentitud Apartments are literally across the street from Pan Pa Yá, a large grocery store, "Éxito," a two story mall, and the famous "Oma" coffee shop. My niece and nephew call my mom "Oma," as will Eli, so we are particularly fond of the name and look forward to trying the coffee!

After breakfast, we walked into the mall and took out the maximum withdrawal of pesos allowed. Jerri and several FANA families had advised us to do this daily until we build up a bank of pesos to cover our incidental expenses as well as some of the heftier fees for the adoption that must be paid in cash. Our apartment has a safe in it, so we are able to store the cash we don't need each day. We didn't spend anytime looking around the mall, as we were both still pretty tired. Instead, we headed to the grocery store and bought a few things to make dinner and breakfast the next day with. Eating out was getting expensive and our apartment has a sweet little kitchen equipped with a stove top, pots and pans, a microwave, a toaster oven and a small fridge with freezer. Buying groceries was a little more complicated than we anticipated as many of the vegetables looked different than at home and the products we are accustomed to buying weekly were either unavailable or labeled differently (and in Spanish). We kept it simple and left with broccoli, brown rice, a pound of lean ground beef, a package of chorizo sausage, some red peppers, an onion, some chocolate, bottled water, a small bottle of laundry detergent, dish soap, and some sponges for cleaning dishes. We walked everything back to the apartment and Jamie turned on the World Cup and started unpacking. I had a killer headache and still felt quite depleted, so I closed myself in the small second bedroom, in another comfy bed and slept until 4pm!

The evening was spent unpacking the rest of our items, making a simple supper of beef rice and broccoli, boiling water so that we can keep pitchers of drinkable H2O in our fridge, checking in with our families via Skype and FaceTime (both free programs!), and settling into our new living quarters.

Luis, the supervisor, and the rest of the staff here at Plentitud have been incredibly helpful. Jamie's Spanish is much better than mine (I can't speak in full sentences!), but he hasn't used so much of the vocabulary in years and was struggling to ask for the things we needed. Luis and I, despite the language barrier, hit it off while Jamie was sorting out our internet service with the English speaking Maria Christina, and through a series of charades and lots of laughter, we managed to have a crib, a high chair, a small tub for bathing Eli, and an iron delivered to our apartment.

Jamie fell asleep early, after a long day, and I stayed up until midnight blogging and facebook-ing with friends.

This morning we took some pictures of our apartment, all settled in now. We love it here!

Preparing to Travel

Monday, June 16th-Friday, June 20th, 2014
I used one of my professional days and stayed home from school today to catch up with all things baby! I had a wonderful morning, preparing the nursery, with two dear friends: Cindy Ripley and Beth Gerardi Wharton. These talented, artistic ladies arrived at our house at 8:30am for a breakfast casserole, coffee and mimosas, before I put them to work decorating one of Eli's nursery walls. We caught up for awhile around my kitchen table and then headed upstairs with Cindy's laptop and projector. The plan was to create some sort of simple representation of our journey from Buffalo to Bogotá. I had found an idea on Pinterest that I liked, but it was an outline of Europe and Asia. I also wanted to incorporate a little red airplane, but that was about all we started with. We found an outline of North and South America in Google Images that we thought would work and the ladies got to work! For my part, I ran around the house collecting any supplies they requested, and offering my opinion when asked.
The Tierney family stopped by with their daughter Sara and dropped off Jerri's famous duffle bag, or as Lisa affectionately calls it, "the body bag!" It is the largest duffle bag you've ever seen! On the plus  side, it is super durable and has wheels for easy rolling. Also, it provides you with a luxurious amount of space to pack in. Every family that adopts from FANA takes the bag, full of any gifts our Buffalo chapter may currently have for FANA, supplies, etc. Depending on when you go and how close your travel is to another family's, the bag could be very full or quite empty, leaving you room for your own belongings, gifts for FANA, baby supplies, etc. In our case, the Tierneys had just been down to Colombia, so the bag wouldn't be too packed. The down side is that it is an extra checked bag you are charged for and that although it can hold an immense amount of supplies, if it exceeds 50lbs, the $75 charge for taking the bag doubles through Delta. So, you have to pack carefully. The Tierneys stayed for awhile and talked me through some  details of their recent stay at the Plentitud apartments in Bogotá, where Jamie and I had decided to stay, as well. It was so nice of them to make the time to visit me and give me some useful tips and advice. Plus, I got to hold Sara for a bit and feed her grapes, which turned out to be a big hit!
By the time I got back upstairs to the nursery, they dynamic duo had an outline of North and South The result is stunning. It is the perfect focal point for Eli's nursery. Simple, but whimsical...Cindy added his initials to the wing of the plane, EJH, and I stared at them in surprise. "Eli, Jamie and Heather," I whispered.  "Wow! Look at that!" Eli's initials also stand for the three members of our little family. I love it!

Jamie came home for his lunch break and got to see the room. He took several pictures and headed back to school to share! Everything was starting to come together and move forward so quickly now...We were wired with energy and excitement. I spent the afternoon with Beth, lining the drawers in the big dresser my dad refinished for the room and creating little tags for different size clothes in the closet.  After she left, I continued nursery work and in the evening switched over to writing the thank you notes for our Holmes shower. It took me well into the middle of the night to finish, but it was worth it. Since I was going to school the next day,  for the last time before our travel, I wanted to finish them all. It is so important to me that people know how much we appreciate all that has been given to us- not only material and financial gifts, but spiritual and emotional support that was so needed. We are indebted to our community of friends and family. They are all a part of our adoption story and woven into the fabric of our little family.

On Tuesday, I headed into Holmes to close up the work part of my life for a while. I'm ready to turn my attention to our family. I taught a full day of classes and said goodbye to my students, colleagues and friends. At the end of the day, I packed up my personal belongings and walked out to Jamie, who came to pick me up. It was such a strange feeling to be done. It really hasn't hit me that I'm not going back in September. Jamie and I have decided that although it will be financially challenging, it is absolutely the right thing for Eli and for our family. I will take some time off to help our little boy transition to life in the USA, life in the Holden house, and life with parents who are going to love him like he's never been loved before! My students are so important to me, and that won't change. But, I need, just as much as Eli does, to have some time to adjust to my new role as "mama" and shift my priorities and schedule appropriately.

After school, two of our friends and "TLE wives," Amy and Renee, stopped by to see the nursery and say goodbye. Our friends, Joy and Adam Hardbattle, also joined us, with their beautiful 7 month old daughter, Naomi, and Adam helped Jamie put our new car seat in the Honda. Adam's work involves testing car seats for safety, so he's a bit of an "expert" at this sort of thing! The boys went to work out in the driveway, while I some wine, cheese, and parenting advice was shared amongst the girls!

Wednesday was spent, shopping for recommended essentials for our trip (medicines, a first aid kit, sunscreen, etc.), writing more thank you notes, the very beginnings of packing, uploading pictures to my computer of all the showers, nursery work, etc., and spending a few hours catching up on recording all of the details of the past week or so in a little journal I am keeping for Eli. I write just a little bit about each day, it also helps me keep track, when I am blogging, of what happened when!
When Jamie came home, we ran out and did a little more shopping, picking up the Playtex Vent-Aire bottles several families had recommended we use because they are similar to the ones the children use at FANA, and deciding at the last minute to buy a smaller, light umbrella stroller to take to Bogotá with us. The jogging stroller is amazing, but we were told that the streets in Bogotá are very rough on a stroller and we also didn't want to risk checking the Baby Jogger and having it returned to us damaged. So, we stopped and spent an hour with our friends at Buy Buy Baby and decided on an Uppa Baby umbrella stroller. It's sturdier wheels will be good for the rough sidewalks and it reclines so we can change Eli right in his stroller, if need be. But, it is still very light weight for traveling.

Thursday, I got more serious about the packing. It is so hard to know what we will need, want or how much of something we should bring, but I really tried to be reasonable and pack as lightly as I could. Now, anyone who has traveled with me before is laughing right now, because my travel history has not revealed me to be a low maintenance gal...I have a hard time making decisions about little things. I'm always afraid if I don't take something, I will regret it later. So, I will admit (with some embarrassment) that there have been trips made that included a separate suitcase of shoes, or in one case a 10lb bag of jewelry that pushed my luggage over the required weight limit! That being said, this time is different. Honestly, I am different. I haven't been on a vacation in several years due to the adoption budget, and in the process of this adoption I have learned to be more financially responsible and to live with less. So, I started this particular packing party with a mission. I wanted to take as little as possible!

That didn't happen.

But, considering what we needed to take supply-wise and for Eli, I think I did pretty well. Jamie was proud, Angela (who was my travel companion for the jewelry incident) was impressed, and I think I'm a much improved, if not perfected, packer!

I also took an hour out to run to Kohls and look for a dress to wear for Eli's presentation. I don't do much shopping for myself anymore, so it was a little overwhelming and I didn't have time to try a whole bunch of clothes on before picking up Jamie at school. On Father's Day, Jamie and I had stopped at the Baby Gap store at the Walden Galleria, on our way back from my parents, to find Eli's presentation outfit. FANA asks you to bring a nice ensemble that they will dress your child in before they present him to you. We aren't too concerned with what that beautiful boy is wearing! We just want to hold him! But, we decided we had better take care of this detail and we had some fun picking out little khaki pants, a white linen button up shirt and a blue striped sweater for him to wear. We even found little navy blue suede loafers to match and a white linen sun hat for the way home.  Jamie had decided to wear a beige suit and light blue dress shirt with a beige tie to match Eli. So, I was the only missing piece in our first family photo. I ran through the store and grabbed anything that was available in my size and in the same color family and my husband's and son's clothes. I headed up to the cashier with my arms overflowing and double checked that the return policy would work for me. Then I was off to pick up Jamie from work and head to Orchard Park to drop off our FANA donation check to Jerri and pick up some gifts she had helped us purchase for the FANA staff who have been taking care of Eli.

When we got home, Jamie continued packing for Eli while I paraded each of my Kohl's dresses through the nursery. We decided which one would look best and I set it aside for packing. All the others were going back to the store the next day!

Friday was Jamie's last day of school. I woke up early and took him to Lindbergh and then came home to continue packing to visit with friends, Judy Anthony and the Harters, who stopped by the house to say goodbye. We packed and repacked our two large suitcases and the duffle bag several times util they met the 50lb requirement on our bathroom scale. We also moved all three of our presentation outfits into our carry on bags, just in case our checked bags were lost. We ended up taking 2 checked suitcases, the duffle bag, a backpack, a carry on suitcase, a diaper bag and the umbrella stroller!

I read the following blogs, as well as the FANA travel packet several times for packing tips and hopefully, we have everything we need to survive in Colombia for two months with our new son!

These blogs were very helpful to me. I list them here as a resource for anyone else who is interested or is going through an international adoption:

http://raisingcolombiankids.blogspot.com/2009/12/one-familys-journey-packing-and.html

http://raisingcolombiankids.blogspot.com/2010/01/one-familys-journey-packing-list-update.html

http://www.addingaburden.com/2012/08/packing-tips-for-international-adoption.html

http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/international-adoption-travel.html

http://www.scarymommy.com/pack-for-an-adoption-trip/

And if you are traveling with an older sibling, this might be helpful:
http://raisingcolombiankids.blogspot.com/2010/07/one-familys-return-trip-dealing-with.html

Catching Up!

The past six weeks have been an absolute whirlwind of activity. Because we had truly believed that there wasn't a chance of us getting a referral until at least July 2014, we had filled our May and June schedules to the brink. Our busy life, full of meaningful work with children and respected colleagues, time set aside for family gatherings, performing commitments, a long distance running training schedule, and social interactions with a wide circle of valued friends, has been a refuge for us as we've waited all these years for the opportunity to start our "next chapter"- parenthood! When this opportunity appeared so unexpectedly we were overjoyed...and overwhelmed! We had cleared our schedules for July and on into 2014-2015. But, up until that point we were over committed! As we struggled to complete our school years, honor as many commitments as we could, and add in the adoption paperwork, nursery decorating, baby showers and travel preparations, we entered a whole new realm of being. Every moment counted and we were counting every moment! Late nights, early mornings, packing as much as we could into a day and praying it would all get done. The past six months has been a real eye opener as we've realized that our time and energy has new limits. We've learned to say "no" when necessary and also reminded each other, again and again, that we can't continue to live at the pace we've become used to, with every moment scheduled, now that Eli is on the scene. It has been humbling, to say the least! I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, emotional and yet...so full of gratitude for this whole experience. I'm guessing most of my mommy friends are nodding their heads, acknowledging that this crazy cocktail of mixed emotions isn't far off from what most mothers feel at the end of every day! So, perhaps, I am better prepared than ever for motherhood. Ready or not...the time is here! I've come to understand that I can spend my energy lamenting everything I meant to get to or had hoped to do, or I can embrace the moment I'm in and give myself the gift of compassion. We are human. We are beautiful and complicated and imperfect, and it can be grand when you just let yourself go with it! Oh, trust me...I've had my meltdowns! Thank God, only Jamie and the walls have to bear witness to that mess! But, today, as I sit in the Atlanta airport, surrounded by our luggage, waiting to complete our journey to Colombia, our journey to our son...I'm so full of joy. I am "in" Love.

My last entry journaled up to Mother's Day, May 11th, 2014. So, here's a summary of weeks between then and now:

Monday, May 12th-Sunday, May 18th, 2014
This week, we registered for shower gifts at Target and Buy, Buy Baby. This was in response to much prompting by friends and family who were miraculously pulling together two work showers (Holmes Elementary and Lindbergh El.) and a Holden family shower, all before our tentative departure date of June 23rd. Although the name "Buy, Buy Baby" is off-putting, I have to say I appreciate the friends who steered me toward this store. The customer service was outstanding and Elena, the lovely young woman who ran the registry desk, spent two hours guiding us through the store and helping us figure out what we needed for our seven month old son. This is the week when my lack of sleep officially caught up with me! I also lost my voice for a full four days, which made teaching music next to impossible! Of course, it was the week of our 3rd grade Spring Concert, so I had to direct rehearsals and the performance.
On Wednesday, I went to see my doctor who gave me a light dose of Ambien and told me I needed to get some vocal and bodily rest. We also met with Jerri at Baker Victory Services and received instructions for filling out the infamous I-800 paperwork, and eventually secure visas for our little international family! The paperwork was intense and involved three time-sensitive packets to be filed in consecutive order. We came home and went right to work. The first step was completed by 11pm that evening, so I took my medication and headed to bed. Since I still wasn't able to speak, I decided to take a sick day, Thursday, and just go into school to run the rehearsal for the 3rd grade show which was on Friday.
Although I was quiet Thursday morning, I still had to be productive. We are a one car family, currently, so I dropped Jamie off at work and then headed straight to Fed Ex to rush round one of the paperwork to USCIS. Then, I was off to my school, Holmes, to suffer through rehearsal. Thank goodness my friend and colleague, Donna Feathers, who teaches 3rd grade recorder, helped me through. She does a beautiful job with our kids and is a pleasure to work with. By 11:30am, I was back in bed where I slept like a baby for several hours. The rest of the evening, I allowed myself to lay low and rest. It was actually this evening that I wrote the last blog entry on Holden Hope, and then went to bed early. This was a day of recognizing and accepting my limits.
Friday, I was back to work for two performances of the 3rd grade "in-formance," What Would the World be Like Without Music? After school, Jamie and I came home to a large package at the back door. My dear cousin, Mark and his lovely wife, Kelle, sent us the most generous gift...My dream jogging stroller for little Eli: The Baby Jogger Summit X3. I don't know who was more excited about this, Jamie or I! I had really hoped that we could afford a decent running stroller, as the distance training has been such a source of stress relief for me and I'd love to keep running, once Elias comes home. Mark and Kelle knew how important the running has been to me and jumped right in, as soon as they heard about Eli, and decided to get us this thoughtful gift. This was the first of so many instances to come where the kindness of friends and family simply stunned us. Jamie is running again, too, so this was a gift for both of us, but I think he was more excited about putting it together than actually running with it! He got such a kick out of assembling it in the living room and steering it around the house...the making of a happy memory.
Saturday morning, we started our day with a yummy breakfast at home (my husband is a dream in the kitchen!) and then a six mile run at Delaware Park, where we scoped out all the running strollers and moms and dads. We are so looking forward to being one of them! Back at home, we went to work on the basement- cleaning and rearranging so we could store items that were in the extra bedroom down there and make room for a nursery! My voice was finally starting to return and just in the nick of time. Sunday, in addition to being Jamie's 41st birthday, was my final concert with the Buffalo Brass big band, before our trip to Colombia. We celebrated Jamie's birthday with respect for our adoption budget, but still had a wonderful day: Breakfast at Bob Evans, a new bike seat for Jamie, a trip to Home Depot for more supplies for the basement project, and finally dinner at Milkie's Elmwood Lounge with the Holdens, followed by the Buffalo Brass concert. Although it wasn't a particularly glamorous day, Jamie said it was his best birthday yet. He has the only thing he's really wanted for years...He has a son!

Monday, May 19th-Sunday, May 25th, 2014
Early in the week, we received confirmation that USCIS was acknowledging receipt of our I-800 application. We also made a phone call about our FBI fingerprints and asked if the process could be expedited to ensure our travel in June. On Tuesday, during my lunch break at school, I called FANA in Bogota for the first time and was able to talk to the Coordinator of the Department of Children, Lorena Panqueva Hoyos, MD. Lorena was incredibly friendly and kind as I stumbled over my words and asked for an update on Eli. She was so reassuring and told me that he was doing incredibly well. The cranial synostosis that they had been watching for no longer seemed to be an issue, and she stated that his head was now growing as it should be and that he was developing properly for an institutionalized child his age. She called him a "healthy boy" and told me that all he needed was his parents! These are the questions I asked her during the first and second phone calls I made, and the answers I received:
Is he using a pacifier? No, we don't believe in using them here at FANA.
Does he have a favorite toy or blanket? He has a little rabbit he loves.
How is his hearing? Good. He responds when he hears noises and he even is starting to respond to his name.
What size clothes is he wearing? 6-9 months
How much does he weigh? 15.9 lbs
Is he trying to crawl? He is trying to pull himself along, but not crawling yet. 
Can he turn himself over? Yes.
Does he sit up himself? Yes for a little bit and he is trying to grab the crib and pull himself up.
Does he have teeth yet? No, but he is salivating a lot now, so we suspect he will start teething soon.
Is he making consonant vowel combinations? Vowel combinations, but no consonants, yet.
Does he sleep through the night? He is going to sleep around 7 or 8pm. We wake him at 11pm for a bottle and then he goes back to sleep until 6am, when we wake him again for a bottle. He also naps from 12:30-2pm.  
 How many bottles does he take a day?  Five bottles a day: 7am, 11am, 2pm, 6pm, and 11pm. He also is eating many foods, compote style.
Any allergies? None yet. 

You can imagine how wonderful it was to hear all of this! I made arrangements to call again the following week, when Jamie could join me. Lorena was so happy to talk to us and anxious for us to come to FANA for our son. We found out in the second phone call that she had been a FANA child, herself, and decided to come back and work for a cause so dear to her heart. She also told us that she would be the one to present Elias to us when we arrived at FANA in Bogotá. Talking to her made it all feel so real. She was a live connection to our little boy.

Back at home, the basement work continued throughout the week. Jamie's parents and our friend, Jeff Trenchard, pitched in and helped us Dry Lock the basement walls. Dick Holden also came over and installed a much needed new garbage disposal under our sink, and my mom spent the weekend with us and helped me clean out the extra bedroom, patch the walls, clean the wood floors, and paint the room. On the work front, my formal observation happened in a complete blur, but I was happy to check it off the list and move on!

In the midst of all of this, we squeezed in Jamie's first half marathon! His friend Matt Sciara and I joined him for the Buffalo Half on the morning of Sunday, May 25th- also the day Eli became 8 months old! Jamie beat his personal goal and finished the race in 2:06. I was so proud of him! My mom joined us for breakfast at Costa's and we were back to work in the most of the nursery and basement work and set up Eli's crib, a gift from my parents, and our glider. What a productive weekend! It felt so good to have this time to devote to our family and our home!

Monday, May 26th-Sunday, June 1st, 2014
On Tuesday, May 27th, we received our I-797C-Notice of Action in the mail. This is a notice telling us that our I-800 is being reviewed for approval. However, they had misspelled Eli's name. His given Spanish name is Elí Lopez Ramirez. The I-797C listed him as EIT L. RAMIREZ. Obviously, an accidental typo, but we had to have it fixed or it could cause us issues later on when his documents didn't match. The funny thing about this is that the first time we filed for our I-800A, which is the version you file before you know the identity of the child you are adopting, we received an I-797 Notice of Action saying that we had been approved for the adoption of a child from the People's Republic of China! All that's fine and good, but we were adopting from Colombia, which is on the other side of the world...Just a little detail, but an important one! This time, Jamie made a phone call and they got back to us the next day via email saying that they would contact us within 48 hours about the mistaken name. By Thursday, May 29th, they had corrected the name and the application had received preliminary approval and was passed on to a supervisor for finalization. This was great news as the I-800 process often takes much longer. In this case, that typo was a gift! Because they had to pull our file to correct the mistake, it received attention right away. We were so pleased to find out that our official approval notice was expected to arrive by Monday or Tuesday of the following week.

In other news, when we had set up our Lolly and Me crib, we found some shipping damage on one of the side rails. I called and asked for a replacement rail and they immediately shipped us a whole new crib, within the week! The damage was very small and could easily be repaired with a slight sanding and touch up paint, so we passed the first crib on to my parents and now they have a place for Eli to sleep when he comes to visit.

We had already received so many gifts from friends, colleagues and students at Lindbergh and Holmes. We started writing thank you notes this week and never stopped until the night before our flight to Bogotá! Our little Eli is being welcomed into our world with so much love and celebration! It is a joy to witness the happiness his story is bringing to our circle of friends and family.
This week, at school, was NYSSMA solofest, so I had "practice auditions" with some of my former Holmes students who are now in middle school and high school and continue to see me for assistance with their solo singing. My friend and colleague, Angela Ziegler, and I were also preparing 15 elementary students, after school, for Buffalo's first Shea's Junior Theatre Festival. Jamie was preparing for a gig with the Lake Effect, the men's a cappella group he sings with, and chaperoning the Spring Chorus Concert at Lindbergh.

On Thursday, May 29th, we signed up for our new family health insurance plan and added Elias James Holden to our coverage! After school, we talked again with Lorena at FANA and received an update on our son. This time we learned that they had just cut him back to four 6oz. bottles of formula a day. We also found out that he does receive exposure to music via a specialist who comes in weekly to sing and play for the children. Lorena said that she is also a singer and frequently sings to the kids! She told us our son is beautiful and that he is doing very well. She expressed her desire for us to get to Colombia as fast as we can so that we can be united with Eli. She said, "All he needs is you!"

Friday, after school we attended NYSSMA SoloFest at Kenmore East High School with several of my students and then made a quick trip to Olean, NY to see our nephew, Malachi, perform in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with the Theatre Workshop group I grew up in. My family met us there and we were able to grab a quick ice-cream with them after the show.

Saturday, I bolted back over to NYSSMA for another student before packing up for the Niagara Falls Women's Half Marathon with my childhood best friend, Erin. We had planned this event, Erin's first half marathon, back in October 2013, and Erin had been training since January for her first half marathon. I was so happy to be able to do this with her and it was the perfect relaxing get away after an overflowing week. We called it Erin's early 40th birthday celebration and got a hotel room and went out for a nice dinner the night before the race. We were definitely feeling our age when we agreed to turn out the lights at 8pm and get a good night's sleep before our 13.1 mile run on Sunday morning. But, sleep was exactly what we both needed and wanted to do with our time! At home, Jamie got to bed early, too, and got some much deserved rest from my endless "to do" lists! Erin did a  fantastic job and we met her goal for the race. By the time I got home on Sunday afternoon, Jamie had hung new blinds in Eli's room and hung the curtains my mom had trimmed with material from his quilt. We both took a rare and luxurious late afternoon nap, then grabbed groceries and cleaned the house just in time for the boys from TLE to show up at the house for rehearsal. Another late night, but at least I was well rested!

Monday, June 2nd-Sunday, June 8th, 2014
I started the week with more running! My school participated in a fantastic program called Girls on the Run for the first time this year. I was a buddy runner with one of my beautiful 5th grade students, Eman Hasson. The girls had been training since April for a 5K and the run was coming up that weekend. Eman and I ran her practice 5K on Monday and she rocked it! I sang her pop songs (inserting her name in silly places) whenever she started to feel tired and she promised herself she was going to finish the race even if it wasn't easy. I had some really meaningful conversations with this young woman throughout her training. I shared with her that running has taught me how to be uncomfortable and be ok with it, to keep moving forward and trusting that it will get better if you just keep moving. So often, in life, I think we have tendency to shut down or give up when things feel overwhelming or unpleasant. But, running proved to me that I can move through difficulties, that "this too shall pass," and that it is not only normal to feel uncomfortable at times, but it should be expected. Sometimes, that discomfort is just you standing at the edge of what you thought you could do and pushing into a place, a strength, you didn't even know you had inside of you. Eman understood this and would talk to me about it. This is why I love working with kids. They are so open to life and curious about experience. They want to know, to discover, to learn... I hope I never stop being a kid at heart.

Monday, after the practice 5K, we met with Jerri in Orchard Park and went over the travel packet and were told we could start looking into plane tickets for June 21st! Our I-800 provisional approval also arrived today.

Tuesday was the final rehearsal for the Shea's Theatre Festival, followed by another trip to Olean for Malachi's end of the year performance in the "The Granny Awards," in which he played the big, not-so-bad, wolf! It was a lot of time on the road, but I left Olean feeling so grateful for my family and even more excited to introduce Eli to the crazy crew!

Wednesday, I sat in for Buffalo Niagara Youth Choir auditions. I will be conducting the Buffalo section of the Concert Choir (grades 3-7) next year. I'm very excited to be joining the BNYC team and Jamie is looking forward to having "boys night" on Tuesday evenings with Eli, while I'm at rehearsals!

Thursday was our first baby shower at Holmes Elementary School, followed by the Lindbergh Elementary shower on Friday morning! Jamie and I were overwhelmed by the generosity and kindness of our colleagues. During such an intense and stressful time, it meant so much to us that our Ken-Ton community gathered together to support us. With the abundance of items purchased from our registry and the incredible monetary gifts and gift cards given to us, our work friends made it possible for us to properly prepare for Eli without having to find the time to go shopping, and financially covered the cost of our visas for travel to Colombia! We will always be grateful for the way both schools so graciously embraced our family and our adoption journey.

Friday started out on a high note with the Lindbergh shower. I took the day off to finish organizing the nursery. Jamie had taken off just the morning to come home and help me unpack and sort gifts, but I happened to check my email and realized that we were supposed to have completed "packet 3" of our paperwork and book our travel to Colombia today! There had been a lack of communication between Jamie and I, due to our crazy schedules, and all of the sudden we were falling behind. The day's agenda changed quickly as we set aside the gifts and rushed to book our plane tickets for the 21st. We decided, within an hour, on where to stay in Bogotá and sent an email requesting reservations at the Plentitud apartments at La Fontana, all before Jamie returned to work at noon.
I spent the rest of the day wrestling with the paperwork for packet 3 and making phone calls to various government agencies, e-mailing Jerri and our friend, Lisa Fontana Tierney, for help and filling out paperwork. Jerri had hoped I could get everything to FedEX by the end of the day to be delivered to the Colombian Consulate on Monday, but I ran into some issues that were out of my hands. We were unable to log into the website for the DS-260 form which constitutes "packet #2," and the form to request a visa that was supposed to be found on NYC's Colombian Consulate website was nowhere to be found. Jerri finally had to send me a pdf copy which I filled out and mailed in.
It was very complicated and stressful, but I kept reminding myself that every form, phone call and email was putting me one step closer to my sweet boy.

Saturday, Jamie, Angela and I spent the day with our fabulous Holmes kids at the Junior Theatre Festival. It was a welcome break from the paperwork which was at a stand still, anyway, and the kids did a wonderful job. Sunday was the Girls on the Run 5K with Eman and the Holmes team and then Jamie's last TLE rehearsal at our house (new location once Eli arrives) and another late night paperwork party to wrap up everything in Packet #3 and ready it for Fed Ex on Monday morning.

Monday, June 9th-Sunday, June 15th, 2014
I overnighted all of the packet #3 paperwork from Fed Ex on Monday morning and prayed they would expedite our visas so that we could have them on time for our travel on June 21st.  It is hard to explain without going into boring and tedious details, but the travel had to be booked before we could apply for the visas. However, we can't travel until we receive the visas. So, it is a guessing game and the time line is very fluid. This is a nightmare for a Type A personality, like me!
After school I was finally able to log in to the Department of State website and complete the DS-260. Finally, all of our paperwork was in transit via cyberspace or Fed Ex and all that was left to do was pack and pray that everything was processed in time for a June 21st departure! I turned my attention to wrapping up my school year, so that I could leave early: 250 progress reports, APPR SLO and Achievement data to report, CFA results to turn in, 4th and 5th grade Chorus Concert, and a Flag Day sing along, all had to happen this week! With a lot of help from friends at school and a couple of 14 hour work days, it all got done!

On the adoption front, we went to AT&T and set up international calling and texting plans and filed for the professional days we had earned this year, as well as the 10 adoption days available to us in our contract. On Wednesday, we got an email confirmation that the National Visa Center had approved our visas and that they were in the mail! We also met up with some of the other couples from FANA who had recently adopted and picked their brains about traveling and staying in Bogotá.
Many thanks to the Pogodzinskis for hosting this gathering- just another display of the amazing circle of support surrounding Eli's adoption.

Our passports/visas arrived on Thursday, June 12th! I also had my spring concert at Holmes that day and we attended the airport arrival party for another FANA family, the Tierney's who adopted little Sara and were coming home.

Friday, after work, we attended the opening night performance of "Cole!" This was the musical review we were supposed to perform in, but had to leave the cast due to the timing of our referral and travel. It was great to see how the show had come together and we were so proud of our friends, Beth Gerardi Wharton, producer, and Cindy Ripley, director!

Saturday was the Holden Family Baby Shower! What fun! My sister-in-law Kelly Holden, Jamie's mom, Cheryl, and our family friends, the Ripleys, did an amazing job decorating and finding creative ways to incorporate the adorable travel/airplane motif. It was so nice to catch up with family and celebrate our newest addition to the Holden family. Once again, we were greeted with a wealth of gifts and well wishes. We feel so incredibly blessed. That evening my parents delivered some more furniture for the nursery and Jamie and I spent the evening washing all of Eli's new clothes, putting gifts away, and rearranging the furniture repeatedly, trying to find just the right fit. What an amazing day!

Sunday, June 15th- Father's Day!!!
We were down to Eldred, PA for lunch with four fantastic fathers. My husband, my father, my grandfather, and my brother-in-law.  We were also able to spend some quality time with my grandmother, who has not been well, before leaving the country. We were home by dinner time and finished the evening with an impromptu "Claremont Clan" neighborhood Bon Voyage party hosted by the McConnell/Madill family. Another wonderful day! Jamie was all smiles, all day long, as he celebrated his first Father's Day as a dad and anticipated holding his son for the first time, in less than 10 days!