Hurry Up and Wait...

So, after the meeting we attended at Baker Victory in November, we immediately submitted a pre-application for adoption, online. In fact, we filled it out the same night as the information session. We were just so elated to finally have a plan. We tried to be patient, even while we checked our e-mail hourly, while we waited to find out what the next step was. But after a week with no response, we started to feel a little deflated. Two weeks later and we were the ones sending e-mails asking what our next step was, when we could meet with someone for more details, and what the timeline looked like. Finally, by the end of November, we had a pile of paperwork that we needed to fill out, and an outline of costs involved. I couldn't wait to get started. I organized all the papers into piles sorted by priority, decorated them with brightly colored paperclips and post it notes, put everything into a new folio I could carry from room to room in the house...I felt so empowered! We spent hours retracing all of our prior addresses, answering questions about our finances, setting up fingerprinting appointments, physicals...The work felt urgent and inspired. We were on a mission. In two weeks we had almost everything done and notarized. I even managed to work out our substantial down payment via a loan from my 403B and some help from my encouraging and enthusiastic mother. The money was in the bank, the checks were in the folio, my lawyer-brother-in-law notarized our documents and we were ready to go. We even scheduled our home study for over our Christmas break.

Part of our rush had been due to the age limit of 38 on Colombian infant adoptions. Jamie is currently 38 and will turn 39 in May. We were very concerned about getting everything submitted in time, before he passed the age limit. At the initial information meeting we had been told that it probably wouldn't be an issue if we started the process right away and had the wheels in motion while Jamie was still 38. So, when we finished our paperwork and then were told that no one from the agency could meet with us until January- I was scared and frustrated. We couldn't do the home study until we submitted the paperwork and non-refundable down payment. And, we didn't feel comfortable handing over that substantial check until we met with someone who could answer all of our questions. Fortunately, the head of the program was kind enough to call Colombia for us and get the details on the age limit. She assured us that waiting until after Christmas wouldn't hurt us at all. Because I am only 36, the Colombian government would be more lenient, and we could still get our home study done and everything submitted to them before May. So, we rescheduled the home study for March, set up an appointment with Baker Victory in January and rushed into the blur of the holiday season, hoping it would be one of our last without children.

After the commotion of Christmas passed, we were left with a quiet January and no new news. It was a time of waiting. I know that there is much more waiting to come, so I have been trying to be at peace with it. We will have a longer period of "expecting" than parents who conceive, but I believe that even this- the extended wait and practice in patience- is a gift. I can't help but feel grateful and so joyful about having something to wait for.

This week holds three small steps forward:
Tomorrow, we are meeting one of the "families of FANA." A couple who adopted their two children from FANA are welcoming us into their home to meet their children and share their experience. I am in tears just writing this. The kindness and generosity of these prior "strangers" moves me. They will give us a window into their lives and their family, just to provide us a little comfort, and a glimpse at our own future family. I am so grateful.

Tuesday, we will meet with the head of the FANA/Baker Victory program and another family who will be on the same adoption schedule as us. We will finally get those questions answered and be able to turn in that paperwork and get these wheels in motion.

Finally, next Saturday, another FANA family will welcome us into their home for cocktails and the beginning of a very important connection. This family will be our "buddy family" throughout our adoption process. As experienced FANA parents (they've adopted two children through the program), they will help us navigate and endure the long road ahead of us. Again, I feel so blessed to have connected with these people (through a mutual friend) who give so freely. What a gift they are giving us.

So, that's where we are. I should have much more to write after this week. Keep us in your prayers and know that we are incredibly grateful for all of the love and support we are receiving.