Communion with Strangers

Communion- An act or instance of sharing 
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Tuesday we went on another adventure with Jorge, this time our destination was "Nápoles Baños Termales" or Naples Hot Springs in the small town of Machetá. There are several locations in this part of Colombia that boast natural hot springs, but this particular site is only an hour and a half from Bogotá and made for a perfect day trip.

Jorge, and his seven year old daughter Nicol, picked us up at 9am and we began our journey. About an hour in, we stopped at a small shoppe in the town of Sesquilé for coffee and fresh bread: almojábona (cheese and salt bread) and pan de yuca (yuca bread).

Nicol, Jorge's daughter, in the van

Fresh bread and coffee at Sesquilé

A playground and the view at Sesquilé

After our refreshments, Jorge pointed out the mountains behind the coffee shoppe and told us that he is working with a small indigenous group that still lives nestled in those hills. He also pointed out that if you look at the outline of the mountains against the sky, you can see the sideways, lying down, profile of a native face.

Back on the road, Eli, Nicol and I sang songs in the back seat together while Jamie and Jorge chatted, up front. Nicol is studying English in school, so she knows a few key phrases. She taught me some Spanish words, laughed at my pronunciation, and then carefully and repeatedly corrected my diction until I got it right! In return, I taught her a few simple English tunes (including a favorite composed by our friend, James DesJardins) with hand movements and we sang the handful of Spanish children's songs that I know, together. 

It was an overcast day to begin with, and by the time we arrived at the hot springs, the rain was coming down pretty hard.  Jorge said it didn't matter; the water we'd be immersed in would be plenty warm, and we were going to get wet anyway! So, we all climbed out of the van, we bundled up Eli in his stroller, pulled down the stroller's sun/rain shield and made our way into the pools at Nápoles. 

The view from the entrance

First, Jorge gave us a tour, explaining that each of the four existing pools had two pipes from the mountain, feeding it. One was naturally hot spring water and the other was cold spring water. Two of the pools were empty at the moment, as they were being cleaned and there were two open. The larger of the two open pools was fully "tiled" with smooth stones, more like a traditional swimming pool, so the water was cleaner. The second open pool was at the back of the facility, tucked sweetly under an arbor of flowers and nestled in a hillside. This pool was a mud bath with a bottom of earth and stone. The water was brown and muddy, but not at all thick or sludgy. Jorge explained that the mud contained many vitamins and minerals that were healthy for the body.

Jorge pointing out the hot and cold water spouts

The first  pool, with stone bottom and edge

At the entrance to the mud bath

The downhill path to the mud bath which is pictured on the left

Jorge showed us to the changing rooms and Jamie took Eli in with him to get ready for our dip in the pools. Fortunately, we had packed swimsuits, and Eli's little white nylon shorts (from his Colombian soccer outfit) would suffice.

The rain had stopped by the time we were making our way into the first pool. I held Eli and made my way down the steps slowly, introducing him to the warm temperature, gradually. Once on the floor of the pool, I had to hand Eli off to Jamie until I felt a little more comfortable walking around on my tiptoes and holding him up at the surface, which was almost chin level on me.

Eli was all smiles and didn't fuss at all. Just as he loves his baths, this kid immediately took to the warm water. He was splashing and cooing and tipping his head backwards to wet it. Jorge couldn't believe how happy, comfortable and confident our little boy was in the water.

Eli floating on his back in my arms

Loving the water...

There were only a handful of other guests at the pools: an older couple who smiled as they watched us play with Eli, four teenage boys, curious about the "foreigners," who observed from the edge of the pool, and a young couple with two little girls who we connected with right away, despite the language barrier. The father offered their baby's floating device to us for Eli, but he didn't like being lifted up out of the warm water and fussed, reaching out, to be immersed once again. 

Eventually, I tired of treading water and seated myself on the steps entering the pool, next to the little family. The mother was holding her one year old baby girl, Maria Angel, who kept shamelessly flirting with Eli and trying to give him kisses! Eli didn't mind the attention so much and gave her a few smiles for her efforts! The couple's older daughter, beautiful five year old Sarah Valentina, spoke just enough English to tell me her name and age, and that she was in the first grade. Jorge assisted us with translations and we told the family where we were from, why we were in Colombia, and what we did for a living. They wanted to hear us sing a song, so we sang a Spanish children's song in harmony. While I sang, Sarah Valentina swam over to me and grabbed both my hands, pulling her knees up onto my lap and facing me. We rocked back and forth to the beat as she watched me intently. After the song, some of the staff wandered over and requested another song. Jorge asked us if we could sing something more in the pop vein, so we did an a cappella version of "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colby Caillet. This performance was met with enthusiastic applause and a hug from Sarah. Our fans generously returned the favor by singing a few Spanish children's songs for us, all about animals, and laughing uproariously when they forgot the words! It was a hoot! With beaming smiles, all around, we posed for some pictures together.

Shortly after, Jorge took us to try out the mud bath for a bit. As we made our way down the little path, we could hear the four teenage boys we had seen earlier splashing and shouting from the pool. "Oh, boy, " said Jamie, anticipating a less than ideal situation for our nine month old. But, as soon as they saw us coming down the staircase, the boys quieted down and moved to the edges of the pool. I commented to Jorge that they were very respectful, and he said, "They are very unfamiliar with foreigners. They probably are just interested in watching you." 

We greeted the boys and then walked around in the mud bath for a little bit while Jorge chatted with them. They told Jorge that they studied English in school, but had only learned some basic phrases and words. When he shared this with me, I laughed, nodding my head and reciting the numbers, colors, and greetings I remembered from my high school Spanish class. The boys all laughed and nodded their heads as well. Then, they asked Jorge if it would be alright if they tried to speak to us in English. We spent a few minutes with them answering basic questions about where we lived and what our names were and we asked them the same. They were very sweet boys, and we enjoyed the conversation.

The water in that second pool was not as warm as the first and it began to rain again. Jorge asked if we wanted to get some lunch at the little cafeteria on site and we gladly put our orders in for the lunch special which included homemade soup, a choice of chicken or beef, rice, french fries, a salad, and juice- all for $10,000 pesos ($5)! We changed back into our warm clothes and made our way up to the open air cafeteria, which was completely empty. As Eli and I shared the comfort of my warm, tasty soup, I asked him about the lovely little family we had met. I was wondering if we could treat them to lunch with us. 

Jorge looked surprised and replied, "Oh, I think they would love that! I don't see a car here, so they most likely took the bus. Since they are not up here, already, I'm guessing that perhaps they could afford the entrance fee (roughly $7 per adult) but not the lunch. Let me go talk to them." He took off and returned, smiling. "They were very shy about it, but I insisted that you wanted their company, so they are coming up." He put the order in with the kitchen staff (again, Jorge knows all of these people by name and has a long history with the workers at each of the places he takes us to), and our new friends joined us at the table. Jorge took his daughter, Nicol, back to the pools for a second dip, leaving us on our own to sort out communication for about fifteen minutes. We learned that the husband's name is Octavio Cuesta and his wife is Geraldin. They asked us if we could email them the pictures we had taken and we exchanged email addresses. They also asked us how long we had been married, if we were Catholic, and if we planned on baptizing Elias back in the United States. The questions were asked with no judgement, but simple curiosity. Jamie explained in his best Spanish, that I was Catholic and that his family was Christian, but a different religion. He told them that we were attending a Catholic church in Buffalo and that we planned on baptizing Elias there. They also asked if American Catholics celebrated the same sacraments as in Colombia: Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, Holy Matrimony. I smiled, understanding the question and confirmed the sequence by repeating it to them in English. Octavio and Geraldin nodded their heads as they listened and glanced at each other with big smiles. 

One question, on the topic of baptism, was too complex for us to understand. They tried to ask us in a few different ways, using the English word "look" and trying several different Spanish versions. Fortunately, Jorge returned at this point and deciphered the puzzle. The couple was wondering if Americans had the same tradition of choosing "Padrinos" or God Parents for the child. We confirmed that this is the same in America, as well, and they seemed very pleased with this answer. I ordered the table a round of hot chocolates while Jorge asked Octavio and Geraldin some questions about themselves. We learned that the Cuesta family lives nearby in the small town of Chocontá and that Octavio comes from a family of bakers. He owns and runs a small bakery that belonged to his father and his grandfather, before him. They asked Jorge to invite us back to their bakery for a visit and some bread and coffee. Jorge explained to us that it was about a twenty minute trip from the hot springs, but that it was a beautiful drive through the countryside, if we were interested. We were so touched by their generosity and warmth, and since we really have no agenda we are tied to here in Colombia, we decided to continue our adventure at the family bakery!

The Cuesta family went to gather their belongings while Jorge and the cafeteria staff chatted with us about the unfortunate decline of adoption in Colombia, due to legislation that strives to keep children in the county, with family members, but often leaves them abandoned, institutionalized and wards of the state. The cafeteria is run by a husband, wife and daughter team who cooked us up a delicious lunch. We managed to feed five adults and four children (the children ate off the adult plates) for roughly $26.00! We thanked our cooks for a wonderful meal and then we piled ourselves, the Cuestas, Jorge and Nicol into the van and took off for the bakery in Chocontá!

Mmm...Hot Chocolate with cinnamon-Colombian style!

The Cafeteria Team- Father, Daughter and Mom

The ride to Chocontá was breathtaking. Rolling green hills, forests, a small lake, and vibrant green leaved trees lined the road. The country setting was truly idyllic. Cows lazed in the pastures, every now and then a dog would chase the van along a farmer's property line, and as far as the eye could see there were verdant green mountains, valley dwellings and billowing clouded skies. 

Geraldin and I sat next to each other with our babies on our laps and chuckled at their expressions and interactions. Eli was such a happy boy the whole day, he didn't cry once, and all of the people we met commented on his easy going personality and striking eyes. 

Octavio sat next to Geraldin and behind Jamie and the men chatted about soccer while the two girls, Nicol and Sarah, played together in the back of the van. We pulled into Chocontá, a small but vital town of bustling streets and packed in businesses. Jorge described it as a "working class town." Octavio and Geraldin explained to us that the young girls in Chocontá often were pregnant by age 11 or twelve and that it was a big concern for the town because it is a very Catholic community, but the church doesn't support the use of birth control and it doesn't want information about these things dispensed to the youth either. As a result, there are many poor young mothers struggling to raise children and kids growing up without all of their basic needs being met. We listened, compassionately. 

Jorge pointed out that Octavio must work very hard as a baker. He affirmed this statement, outlining his schedule for us. He works seven days a week and remains in the bakery, preparing various doughs until 1am. Then, he is back to work at 6am to begin the baking so that everything is fresh for his clients when their doors open. He has a staff that assist him, but his job, as baker, is the one that determines the success of the family business. He said that the business doesn't make much money as each piece of bread is sold for only 200 pesos, or approximately 10 cents, but that the bakery is relatively successful and has its fair share of customers. It is a tough business to be in because there are so many bakeries to compete with; there are seven in their small town. I commented that it was "noble, honest work," and he smiled and nodded in agreement. 

A street in Chocontá

The front of Octavio's Bakery

We pulled up to the front of the bakery and all spilled out of the van and into the small store front. Immediately my senses were arrested by the incredible aroma of freshly baked bread and I was happy to see a small crowd gathered at the tables in the store, eating, sipping coffee, and watching the soccer game on a television mounted in the corner. Geraldin ushered us to a table and brought us some coffee and biscuits, a Colombian specialty made with flour, sugar and cheese that Jorge called garulla.  They were incredible! The warm, sweet bread had a crumb covering that melted in our mouths and we found ourselves licking our fingers, the eating was so good! Geraldin brought out a high chair for Eli and she stood behind him, stroking his little head and smiling while he enjoyed some of the bread with us.

Inside the Cuesta family's shop

Watching Brazil vs. Germany in the World Cup

Hanging out with Eli, Sarah Valentina and Nicol.

My fresh garulla

Eli in a borrowed  Hello, Kitty high chair, with a mouthful of warm bread

Octavio gave us a quick tour of the back room where the bread is baked. Looking around, I was struck by how many different kinds of breads and pastries they make each day. We appreciated the effort that went into all of the delicious smelling and lovely looking treats, and Octavio loaded up a bag of various breads to send home with us. Jorge also suggested that we try some traditional tamales, which they made there, for breakfast the next morning. We tried to purchase two, but Octavio refused to let us pay and added two giant corn husked tamales to our bag, adding verbal instructions for cooking them.

Jorge and Octavio in the kitchen

Tasty treats!

Geraldin joined us in the kitchen area and she and her husband spoke quietly for a moment and then they asked for Jorge to translate. What happened next still gives me goosebumps when I think about it. Their request was so unexpected and touching. Husband and wife watched us, seriously, with glistening eyes, as Jorge spoke. "Their youngest daughter, Maria Angel, is to be baptized in about twenty days. They had been thinking of asking Geraldin's mother to be the Madrina (Godmother), but she is quite old and lives several hours away. They are very touched by the love they see in your family and they would like to ask you to be Maria Angel's Padrinos or Godparents."

I think Jamie and I must have looked quite stricken. I was so taken aback by these words. My first thought was that these people hardly knew us, why would they choose to bestow such an honor on strangers? I felt a twinge of fear that they were in need of some sort of financial assistance and hoped that we might represent a source of security for their little family. Mixed with this emotion was a surge of gratitude and love for these kind, hard working people and their sweet family. 

Octavio and Geraldin

Sarah Valentina

Maria Angel and her mama

My eyes traveled between my husband, who was visibly moved, and Octavio, whose eyes were brimming with tears, and I stammered for the right words. "Please tell them that we are very honored. We have several Godchildren in the United States and we take the role seriously. I'd like to know why they have chosen us and what their expectations are for Godparents." Jorge nodded his head in agreement with my questions and posed them to the Cuestas. Octavio spoke earnestly to Jorge and waited for the translation. "Their expectation is that you would be a model for their child of what a good, loving family looks like. They see how much love you have to give to an adopted child and how much you love each other. They admire this and think it would be a good example for their daughter." Geraldin interjected and Jorge chuckled as he reported to us, "She says that now you can have two Colombian children, a son and a God daughter!" We laughed together and Jorge added that he thought that we should take some time to think about it and talk privately. We agreed. He also explained our uncertain time table to the Cuestas, telling them that we would need to know exactly when the baptism was scheduled because it is costly for us to stay in the country and we will need to return to the US as soon as possible, after our sentencia (final court appearance.) They nodded their heads, appreciating the expense.

We reiterated our gratitude for the honor and Jorge told them that we would give the request some serious consideration and come to a decision in a few days. He also offered to contact the family with our decision, so we wouldn't have to struggle over the phone with the language barrier. We all exchanged warm embraces, I held Maria Angel, just awake from a nap,  for a few moments, and then we said goodbye. The Cuesta family watched us go from the front steps of the store, smiling and waving.

The Cuesta Family

On the trip back to Bogotá, we talked with Jorge about the couple's surprising request. He told us that he believed that they were good, honest people with no agenda and that their interest in having us serve as Godparents was not as unusual, culturally, to him as it was to us. He said that, years ago, he and his wife had actually considered asking a Norwegian couple who had adopted from Colombia and spent some time with Jorge to be their daughter Nicol's Godparents. He explained that when you are from a very small part of the world, with a limited circle of friends and family and not many opportunities, you want your child to be connected to and have a vision of the larger world. He said that it would be a source of great pride for Octavio and Geraldin to tell people that Maria's Godparents were from the US, that they were music teachers, and that they had adopted a son from Colombia. When I asked him if he thought there was any sort of financial expectation attached to the role, he replied that he was quite certain that the family was not seeking money. Jorge was impressed that a man as young as Octavio was running his own bakery with such success. The family appears to be doing well enough for themselves and making ends meet. He also reminded me that they had said "no" to our lunch offer at first and seemed a little embarrassed about it. Jorge did not try to steer us one way or the other and again suggested that we think about it some more and talk about it, privately. Jamie asked him what his opinion was and he commented, thoughtfully. 

Jorge thinks that the Cuestas were struck by our openness and warmth. He said that while Colombians are very friendly to foreigners, because they know the tourism is so important for the country's economy, they often keep more distance between themselves. He said that although we may feel that the couple doesn't know us very well, from their perspective they saw and appreciated so much of who we are in a short time: We shared our adoption story, they watched us interact as a family, we played with their children, we sang for them, we invited them to lunch, talked with them about religion, and visited their hometown and family business. Jamie listened to Jorge attentively and replied, "When you say it that way, it does make more sense to me." Jorge also said that many Colombians dream of traveling, as finances often make it nearly impossible. He said that he imagined that by establishing a connection with our family, the Cuestas might hope that someday their family or their daughter could visit us in America and he added that he was certain that they would invite us to stay with them should we want to return to Colombia in the future. The last thought that he shared was that forging this relationship would give us a very authentic connection to the culture and family life of Eli's native land. We would be in contact via email or letters with a Spanish speaking family, have a connection to the holidays celebrated in Colombia, and have a circle of Colombian friends that we would belong to. Although Octavio and Geraldin appear to be about ten years younger than us (in their mid to late twenties), their youngest daughter, Maria Angel, is only three months older than Elias and this also makes for a special connection. Finally, Jorge said "The most important thing is that you are comfortable with your decision." He assured us that we should feel no sense of obligation, but instead be flattered by the offer and make the decision that felt right to us.

Jamie looked back at Eli and I from the front seat of the car where he sat with Jorge. "Do you want to talk about this later?" I shook my head. "No, it's ok. What do you think?" Jamie gave me a slow smile and replied, "Well, for my part...I'm in. I think they are a beautiful family and this would be a really meaningful connection to Colombia for us." I was surprised by my husband's lack of hesitancy. I'm usually the one diving into new situations, with Jamie serving as my brakes when and if needed! This time, though, I was the one with questions. Perhaps because Catholicism is nearer to my own heart than my husband's, I see the agreement to be a Godparent as a sacred vow more than a social relationship. It is a commitment I don't take lightly. I asked Jorge if in Colombia the Godparents were willed the child, in the event of the parents' untimely death. He said it is the same as in America...That although this was the original, long ago, intent for designating Godparents, most families do not handle it this way. Children usually go to family members should something terrible happen to the parents. Jamie raised his eyebrows, thinking, and said to me, "Worst case scenario, we end up raising two beautiful Colombian little girls. I can think of worse!" "Two?!! They only asked us to be Godparents to one," I teased. Jamie said, "Yes, but we can be unofficial Godparents to Sarah Valentina, right? I mean, we aren't going to leave her out!" We all laughed and I thought about Sarah sitting in my lap, singing and dancing, her eyes watching me carefully, studying my mouth and the words it was forming. 

Love is so powerful. I believe that we are conductors of the Holy Spirit's energy; the presence of God among us is experienced through communion or relationship. When we are "plugged in" to Love, that energy surges through us and transfers from one human being to another during our interactions, our communications, the sharing of a meal...the breaking of bread. The intensity of it all, the power of Love to connect and create meaning between strangers, overwhelms me. I am in awe of what has been happening in my life since Elias appeared on the scene and to be honest, it sometimes scares me. It seems there is no limit to the ripple effects of Love.

Jamie and Jorge became engaged in a different topic of conversation while I sat quietly thinking. Nicol played with Eli's feet, tickling him and making him smile as we drove into the darkness. Soon, I turned my attention to her and we sang lullabies to Eli until he fell asleep in my arms. Then, Nicol got out the earmuffs she had worn that morning and put them on my head. She moved my free hand up to cup the earmuff and demonstrated how I should pretend to be "rocking out" to the imaginary music coming through my pretend headphone! You gotta love the creativity of kids! As I obliged, she leaned her little head against mine and sang songs into my headphone. 

We played this game until we reached La Fontana, finally back at our apartment after a ten hour day...We thanked Jorge for our great adventure and gave Nicol a goodbye hug. As we walked up to our apartment with Eli, we reflected on what an incredible story our day had provided. I decided not to blog or share it with our family or friends yet, as I wanted some time to pray on it and the perspective a good night's sleep might offer. We all went to bed early, physically and emotionally exhausted. 

Yesterday morning we enjoyed heaping plates of hot tamales and fresh bread for breakfast and again reflected on our time with the Cuesta family. 

The tamale opens like a flower, revealing a delicious combination of corn breading, carrot, chicken, pork and seasoning...So yummy! We spent most of Wednesday in our pajamas, just hanging out here and working on this post. We went to the food court at Unicentro for dinner and walked around for awhile for a change of scenery. We talked and thought and last night I spent some time praying. 

This morning, we sent the Cuesta family an email thanking them for the bread and asking if we can meet again, to visit and learn more about each other. Like so many events in our lives, meeting the Cuesta family feels like divine intervention. While it is true that much is unknown, of this I am certain: We are all connected. There are days, moments and situations which seem to "lift the veil" and give us a glimpse of the threads that weave this world together- reminders that we are one. We believe we've been given an opportunity here to strengthen those ties, a gift we can be grateful for.

True communication is communion- 

The realization of oneness, which is love. 

- Eckhart Tolle