Life is for the Living

Wednesday morning, shortly before 5:00am, my beloved grandfather, Norman Martin, quietly passed from this world to his heavenly home. I had been half-awake all night, anticipating the news. Grandpa had slipped from consciousness the evening before, so we knew the end was near. Throughout the night, in my half dream state, I kept visualizing myself next to him in the hospital room. The smell of his skin, so familiar, the feel of his lean but sturdy frame in my embrace, and the sound of his voice seemed so present that night. I did my best to send my message of love, telepathically, from Bogotá, Colombia to Coudersport, PA. "It's alright, Grandpa. You can go now. We love you and we know you love us. I want you to find great peace and joy. I release you to God's love and light." When the light ding of my phone stirred me near dawn, I knew what message it would bear. I was grateful and yet, deeply saddened by his leaving. I will miss him so.

We had previously made plans with Jorge, our tour guide, to return to the tiny town of Chocontá Wednesday to visit with the Cuesta family and decide whether or not we would agree to serve as Godparents (Padrinos) to their daughter, Maria Angel. Jamie asked me if I wanted to reschedule, but I knew that Grandpa wouldn't want me to sit around and sulk. He was an outdoors man and if he had traveled to Colombia, the only thing he would've been interested in here would've been the mountains. Chocontá is a mountain town, and the drive there is a comforting, visual feast for me. Rolling hills disappearing into billowing clouds, pastures full of cattle lazily passing their day in the lush, green grass....small towns full of hard working people whose richly textured faces turn eyes up from crumbling sidewalks or peer out from colored store fronts to watch as the gringos pass through.
They are people like my grandfather: lovers of the land and protectors of the family. I wanted to be amongst people that day, to dwell in the living. I knew I'd feel closer to my grandpa there than I would in our isolated apartment.

Jorge picked us up around 10am and we were on our way. Jamie sat up front and the two men chatted amiably while I enjoyed some quiet time, snuggling my son, in the back seat and taking in the views.

As we rode, Jorge occasionally pointed out the kinds of trees we saw. This is something my grandpa used to do for me, too, when we would walk the woods together, behind my parents' home. I remembered that Jorge had told us about a project he had started, planting indigenous trees in a grove outside the town of Nemoncón, where we had traveled to visit the salt mine. Several adoptive families had purchased trees for the grove to honor their child's heritage and Jorge plants the trees with a small plaque that holds the child's name, birthdate, and the country they now live in, along with the species of the tree. We had planned on purchasing a tree for Elias with the hopes that we could visit it someday when we return. But, now, a new plan was forming in my mind.

"Jorge, would it be possible to purchase two trees...a little one for Eli and a taller one in memory of my grandpa?" Jorge smiled at me in the rearview mirror. "Ah...they could grow alongside one another, the grandfather looking down over the little one," he answered. "Yes, exactly." Jamie looked back at me with tear filled eyes. "That's perfect." Jorge and I nodded our heads in agreement and then the car was quiet for awhile.

We arrived at Chocontá unannounced. We had been in touch with the Cuestas Sunday evening via Facebook messages, but we were having trouble connecting with our cell phones. They had told us to stop by the shop anytime we could get there. They are almost always there since they live and work in the same building. When we walked into the bakery, Octavio was waiting on a customer and Geraldin was nursing Maria Angel. Geraldin's eyes rose to find us and her face lit up with a wide smile.

Maria Angel and mama, Geraldin

Once again, we were welcomed with hot coffee and fresh bread as we settled into a small table with Geraldin and Jorge. Octavio continued to contend with the steady stream of customers while Jorge helped us make small talk with Geraldin. Jamie and I had spent some time thinking about the questions we wanted to ask the Cuestas, before agreeing to be Godparents, so after the obligatory casual exchanges, we dove into our list. Geraldin did not seem at all unsettled by my little notebook and list of questions. Rather, she smiled graciously, as if she appreciated that we were seriously interested in her family. Whenever there was a break in business, Octavio would come stand by his wife and listen to our conversation, smiling, also.

We learned more about their families: mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers. Octavio has a large family and most of its members live right in Chocontá and work together. Octavio's mother and father own a second business now, a little restaurant and ice cream parlor across town, where several of their relatives work. Geraldin's family is more spread out, but close enough to visit. We also learned how the couple met, that they have been together for eight years, and that they are even younger than we suspected! Geraldin is only 23 and Octavio is 26. Jamie began playing with Maria Angel, who was sitting in Geraldin's lap, and I asked for details about the baptism. I explained that we couldn't guarantee that we would be here after next week. Although we have no definite timeline, we need to be able to leave as soon as possible in the hopes that we can be home for my grandfather's memorial service on August 2nd. Geraldin said that she had talked to the church already and that they should be able to schedule the baptism for next weekend. 

Jamie and Maria Angel

We showed Geraldin and Octavio pictures on our phones of our own family back in the USA, and our house. Then Geraldin took us back behind the bakery's kitchen, and showed us the three connected rooms that the family lives in. Their living space is very limited. The families we know and are friends with would probably see the set up as "impossible" for family life. Yet, the Cuestas challenged my middle-class American perspective. They are happy, healthy, and loving. They are making the best of their situation. The truth is, they have everything they need. That's the difference between their eyes and mine. "Needs" and "wants" are not the same here in Colombia. What we in America think we need...Well, most of it, honestly, can be lived without.

Their rooms were tidy, clean, and decorated with momentos that made me smile. When we went back out into the store front, Geraldin pulled out a small laptop computer and showed us pictures of their extended family. After awhile, I turned to Jamie and said, quietly, "I feel good about this." Beaming, he gave my hand a squeeze, and then we asked Jorge to tell Geraldin and Octavio that we would be honored to be Maria Angel's Godparents. They looked so happy and we took some pictures to celebrate the moment.

Geraldin, Maria Angel, Elias, and Me!

The beginning of a lifelong friendship

The Cuesta's other daughter, Sarah Valentina, was in school that morning and Geraldin asked us if we wanted to walk with her to pick Sarah up. We walked through the small town, watching older students stream down the streets, laughing and eyeing us, curiously. I snapped a few pictures as I went; I have a fondness for village life and the mountain scenery in Chocontá is quite breathtaking.

The church at the end of the street is where the baptism will take place...

Uniformed students walking home from school

Jamie and a sleeping Elias

Geraldin and Maria Angel

Notice the hills at the end of the street

The street the school is on

Surrounded by beauty...

Sarah Valentina attends a small, private, Montessori school. We aren't sure if public school is even offered in these rural towns. She is in the first grade and is doing extremely well in her studies. Geraldin and Jorge explained to us that the students take a big English exam every year which is scored from 1 to 5, 5 being the best score. (Does this sound familiar, my teacher friends?!!) Sarah just received a 5 on her English exam and is being accelerated in her language studies. She was the last one remaining in her little classroom when we arrived and she greeted me immediately with a grin and a hug.

Sarah's school

Outside a classroom

The lovely Sarah Valentina

In Sarah's classroom

Sarah held my hand the whole way back to the bakery and we sang the ABC song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, together. Back in the store, she ran to her room for some beginning English language books and proceeded to demonstrate her knowledge. Both of her little hands were stamped with the words "Very Good" in purple ink; this is obviously a little girl who loves to learn.

Always the teacher...

Octavio asked us to stay for a late lunch and soon, heaping plates of chicken, rice, vegetables, avocado slices, and fried plantain were brought out to our table. We all ate together, enjoying the special meal. I had to explain that I had been ill from some of the foods in Colombia and I was careful not to eat anything that hadn't been boiled, but what I had sure did taste delicious!

After lunch, we all (minus Octavio who had to manage the bakery) piled in Jorge's car and drove across town to Octavio's father's restaurant. It was a small store front, serving fast foods and ice cream. There were no customers when we arrived, and the family was seated at the back of the restaurant. They gestured for us to sit at a table near theirs. Octavio's father, mother, sister, younger brother, grandmother, and aunt were all assembled to greet us. We were incredibly thankful for Jorge at this point, as the meeting would have been very awkward without his bilingual skills! They asked us a little about  where we were from and why we were in Colombia. They admired Eli and told us about their own big family. We were offered more food, but politely declined, explaining that Octavio had fed us well. Still, after about twenty minutes, giant dishes of a Colombian ice cream dessert were brought out and everyone laughed as our eyes grew large in disbelief!

The dish is a Colombian specialty that combines fresh fruit, ice cream, grated cheese and cream, with a cookie on top! Jamie managed to eat about half of his dish, while I could only manage a few bites. It was a very interesting combination. The cheese was a little salty and the fruit tangy. The cream was poured over the top of the ice-cream, like a syrup. 

Sarah and Eli getting to know each other!

It was very nice to meet the family, but we needed to head back toward Bogotá before dinner, so we dropped Geraldin and the girls back off at the bakery, popping in for hugs and goodbyes. The Cuestas promised to get in touch with us about the exact time of the baptism next week and we offered to buy Maria Angel's baptismal gown, as is the custom for Godparents here in Colombia. Octavio did not want to take any money from us and said that it was unnecessary, but we explained that even if it wasn't necessary, we wanted to buy the dress for his daughter and that it was easier for us if Geraldin picked it out and made sure it fit properly. Finally, they accepted our monetary gift and we said farewell until the ceremony.

Eli had such a good day. He was so happy and easy going the entire time. It was close to a two hour car ride, each way, but he didn't fuss at all. He missed his nap, so when we got home at nearly 7pm, he got his bottle and went right bed. We followed suit and climbed into bed early, talking with my mom for nearly an hour on Skype about all of the arrangements for my grandfather's memorial service. I was comforted to hear that my grandmother was handling Grandpa's passing well and that she was very relieved that he was out of pain. 

Yesterday was slower paced day. We enjoyed just laying around the apartment together, playing and singing songs to Eli. He has grown so much since we received him. He's crawling everywhere now and starting to pull himself up on the edges of the couches and chairs. He wants to be on his feet in the worst way and we have to watch him carefully because he is constantly raising his little body into awkwardly balanced positions that result in his toppling over. The poor little guy hits his head on the ground at least once or twice a day, no matter how hard we try to stay on top of his maneuvers!

In the afternoon, we met up with two other American families who have adopted older children from FANA. Erica and Justin are from Tenessee and their daughter, Angie, is 9 years old. Leigh Anne  Wacht and Ken Pyc are one of our WNY FANA families. We met them at this year's Christmas party, shortly after they had found out about the three siblings here in Bogotá that were waiting for parents. Melina, 15, Andres, 14, and Luisa, 9 years old, are really cool (muy chévere) kids! We joined both families for ice cream at the Oma in Parque 93. It was a great afternoon. After Oma, we walked around the park square with the Pyc family and enjoyed some rare sunshine. Jamie and I were able to converse a little with Melina in Spanish and help her with some English words, as well. 

Andres, Melina, and Luisa

Eli and the girls

The Americans at OMA

Andres and I in the park

Back at the apartment, we caught up with some of the Claremont Clan, our neighbors from home, and introduced them to Eli before calling it a night.

Today, I stayed in and enjoyed a "catch up" day. I balanced my checkbook, returned some emails, did some work for Buffalo Niagara Youth Choir (the children's chorus I will be working with this coming school year), and worked on this blog. I also spent some quality time with Eli while Jamie joined the other American families at the old polo fields park for a game of soccer. He returned flushed and happy after a few hours of sunshine, laughs and physical activity. 

Soccer friends

Luisa

Andres and the Bogotá sky

Eli and I spent the time singing and playing...me following him around as he crawled, scooted, and wobbled his way around the apartment. He went to bed about a half hour ago, tired after an active day of mobility. 

While I put Eli down, Jamie ran out to Archie's and returned with pizza, milkshakes AND chicken wings and fries! Hmm...comfort food, anyone?!! I think we are both starting to miss home. Still, we've been enjoying our days together and with our new friends. We realize how special this time is. Once we are back home, life will pick up speed again and we will look back at this time, so fondly. We are learning to stay "in the moment" and to honor the gift of the present.

"What day is it?"

"It's today," squeaked Piglet.

"My favorite day," said Pooh.

― A.A. Milne