Tales from Bogotá

I've fallen a little behind in my blogging, so this is going to be an action packed entry! You might want to grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine and get comfortable! We will pick up our Colombian story on this past Saturday, July 19th, 2014.

One of the things I've really wanted to do here in Colombia is experience authentic salsa music and dancing. I've always loved to dance and as an adult, I find my opportunities to "get down on the dance floor" have become fewer and fewer! I didn't want to miss the rare opportunity to experience salsa (and some of the other popular musical styles here) with native Colombians, but a night club isn't really an appropriate environment for a 9 month old child! Fortunately, FANA anticipates that these sort of dilemmas might arise for their adoptive families and offers babysitting services if you wish to get out for a "date night" while you're in Bogotá. At first, we were hesitant about leaving our beautiful boy with someone we didn't know, but everyone we talked to here encouraged us to get out together and to trust that FANA would send a capable and trustworthy employee to stay with Elias.
Late last week, we finally decided to contact Jorge and his wife, Patricia, to see if they would take us out dancing. They said they had a great place in mind for Saturday night, so we called FANA and requested a babysitter.

Saturday, during the day, was pretty low-key. We older parents have to conserve energy when preparing for a big night out! We were overdue for laundry (Eli ran out of clean pants!), but knew that the Pyc family was headed to the same laundromat we use that morning, so we decided to let our son "rough it out" in his pajamas for the day. Daddy and Eli spent some quality time playing and cuddling on the couch until we all got restless around lunch time and resorted to putting a sweater over Eli's pajamas and disguising the bottoms as pants by placing sneakers over his footed pjs! We wrapped the whole ensemble (including the boy) in a blanket and took a long walk to the popular "Bogota Beer Company," a pub-like chain here with an American-style menu.

Pajama day with Daddy

My silly boys

It was nice to get out and to walk around for a while; we are getting much more comfortable navigating the city on our own. We had a late lunch of tasty, familiar foods: chicken fingers, french fries, and wings. For almost four weeks, we've been making the majority of our meals in the apartment. The variety of foods we can buy at the grocery store and prepare ourselves is limited and lately we've started to feel a little burned out on "staying in." We've made a conscious decision to spend more of the tail end of our time here in Bogotá out and about. It is a treat to go out once a day for a meal and it makes keeping up with the cooking, dishes, and clean up a little more manageable. With Elias crawling everywhere and pulling himself up on the edges of chairs and tables now, if one of us is stuck in the kitchen, the other one has to be following him around and preventing accidents!

We had made arrangements to start our date night around 9pm, so that we could be home at bedtime and get Elias settled in for the night. Our lovely babysitter, Milbia Fuertes, arrived around 8:45pm and Eli was already sound asleep. We were thrilled to find out that Milbia has worked at FANA for twenty-five years and she knew exactly who "Elí" was. She peeked in at our sleeping boy and came back into the living room with moist eyes. She couldn't believe how much he had grown and how his little face had filled out. I showed her a video on my phone of Eli crawling around the room and laughing as she wiped tears and whispered blessings on our family. We told her that her job for the night was quite simple. Eli sleeps until midnight when we go in to his dark room and lift him, sleeping, from his crib into our arms for a bottle of formula. He usually falls back asleep as he's drinking and then we put him back down in the crib where he sleeps until 6:30 or 7am. We planned to be back by 1am at the latest. Milbia reassured us, telling us to go and have fun. She gave me her cell phone number and promised to take excellent care of Eli. We both immediately adored Milbia and felt very safe leaving Eli in her care. Jorge and Patricia arrived in a cab around 9:30pm, and we were off for a taste of Bogotá's night life.

Milbia snapped this picture of us before we left for our date night

Jorge and Patricia took us to a little club called "Antigua" that they are fond of. After a month of dressing like a mommy, often foregoing makeup and hairstyling, it was fun to dress up with Jamie and get out for some adult time. We arrived at Antigua just before the first band of the night took the stage. Videos of Colombian pop music were projected onto a large screen behind the stage and the place wasn't too crowded yet. There was a middle aged couple dancing when we came in, some college-aged kids at the bar, and a grandmother and her large family coming in right behind us, to celebrate her birthday! Definitely a diverse crowd and a great vibe in the place. We were able to snag a front and center table for four, right in the midst of all the action, and we walked around and snapped a few pictures of the place as it started to fill.

A sign for the first band...Salsa and Colombian pop

Jorge and Patricia, our hosts!

Eclectic decorating gives the place a fun feel

The second billing- a Vallenato band 

The first band we heard was more of traditional Colombian pop band, playing salsa and merengue, as well as other dance styles from Colombia's Caribbean coast. The music was fantastic...the various rhythmic styles are infectious and fun. Soon the dance floor was overflowing and people from the balcony above were leaning over the railings and singing along. 

We ordered empanadas for the table, a bottle of rum and several bottles of coke. Apparently, this is customary here in Colombia. Rather than ordering individual drinks, the table chooses a bottle of liquor to share and then you mix your own drinks. A plate of citrus fruit wedges and a dish of some sort of local nuts also appeared at the table. At first I was a bit taken aback by the prospect of four people sharing an entire bottle of rum, but I actually found it quite nice to be able to control the strength of my own drinks and not have to hunt down a waiter every time someone at our table wanted a refill. I ordered some bottled water, as well, and found a pleasant balance in our dancing, eating and drinking. 

Jorge got me out on the dance floor and helped me brush up my basic salsa steps, while Patricia gave Jamie some pointers. It was amazing to watch all of the locals spin, kick and step their way around each other on the tightly packed dance floor and we found it impossible not to wiggle in our seats to the pulsing beat of the music. Eventually, we were brave enough to give it a go, ourselves, although I think we had more fun laughing at ourselves than we did actually dancing! We both couldn't stop smiling, it was all so enjoyable.

The second group to take the stage was a "Vallenato" band. This style of music was new to us. It is similar to Cumbia, in that both styles are from the Caribbean and reflect the African influences of that area of Colombia. Vallenato features the accordion as a lead instrument and incorporates complicated, changing rhythms that kept Jamie's and my audiation alert and engaged. We couldn't get over the accordion player's skill and facility on the instrument. This is no polka! We've never heard the instrument played in this way; what a treat! We LOVED listening and dancing to this music! 

These lovely ladies invited Jamie and I to dance with them

It was a thoroughly enjoyable evening. We made it home around 1am, smiling and happy. Milbia reported no problems with Eli and we all managed to get a decent night's sleep. Jamie and I split up baby duty; he woke up with Eli at 7, gave him his bottle and even fit in an early morning Skype session with Dick and Cheryl Holden before 9am, when I took over. Jamie went back to bed for two hours while I fed Eli breakfast, played a bit, and Skyped with my cousin Mark and his wife, Kelle.

By 12:30pm, all three of us were dressed and ready to meet Maria Teresa and Carmen for a special lunch date at Hacienda La Margarita, a large horse stable that includes a restaurant, live entertainment, and an indoor horse show. 

The atmosphere was colorful and festive. Colombian flags and streamers adorned the ceilings and the wooden support beams were hand painted with bright flowers and other decorations. Cowboy boots and riding gear hung from the rafters and red, yellow and blue balloons floated through the air. Our server, all smiles, seemed to really enjoy her job. The place was packed with long wooden tables and chairs all occupied by visitors of various ages: families, friends, and tourists. 

On a small stage near the front of the barn-like structure, an attractive female singer draped in a flouncing, traditional dancing dress, sang popular Colombian tunes and encouraged the audience to sing along. 

We settled into our own table, with Eli comfy in his stroller, and checked out an extensive menu. Carmen helped us limit our overwhelming choices (all in Spanish, of course!) to a few of her recommendations for traditional Colombian fare. Jamie ordered a meat plate that featured grilled chicken, beef and pork, while I opted for a mixed plate known as "Bandeja Paisa" which included a fried egg, rice, ground beef, tocina (fried pork), sausage, a fried plantain, and avocado.

Jamie's juicy grilled meats

Bandeja Paisa

Our guides and friends: Maria Teresa and Carmen

After eating our delicious meals, we carried Eli to the end of the barn's main thoroughfare to get a better view of the horse show that was just starting. Maria Teresa explained that Hacienda La Margarita had been a respected stable and horse training facility long before it was a restaurant. The horses in the restaurant show are well bred show horses that also compete nationally. We took turns holding Eli so he could see the large, beautiful animals and their well dressed riders canter, trot and gallop down the runway.                    

After the horse show, several dancers came out and pulled people from the audience out onto the runway to dance with them. At this point, Eli was ready for his afternoon nap, so we returned to our seats for coffee and Eli slept in my arms for a good half hour.

We finished the afternoon with a walk around the outside attractions and a visit to the gift shop. The shop was quite small, but surprisingly non-touristy! We were drawn to a shelf of locally made ponchos available in various children's sizes. We decided to pick one up to add to Eli's 18 gifts, and settled on a beautiful black and white design that should fit him when he is seven or eight years old. 

We returned to the apartment with happy hearts and full stomachs. We were able to connect with my parents before putting Eli down for the night and they were thrilled to watch him in action: crawling, climbing and tottering around the living room. He looked so dapper in his little plaid shirt and the only semi-clean pants we had left for him! I'm including this picture of him from that evening just because I love it!

The next morning, Monday, we finally broke down and carried our overflowing laundry bag plus a back pack full of additional dirty items down to the parking garage where we had a cab pick us up and drop us at Lavasport, the laundromat. 

Playing with Daddy while we wait for laundry...

We had to be back to the apartment by 2:00pm to meet Maria Teresa again. We had a 2:30 tour of FANA scheduled and we wanted Eli to have some clean clothes for the occasion! After each adoption, FANA invites the families back for a tour of the entire facility. Maria Teresa de Maldonado also meets with you on this day and shares any information she has about the child's family history that may not have been given to you, already. 

FANA is in flux, currently, due to a restructuring of the home for women in need and the resulting renovations and moving of offices, etc. The place is a little more hectic than usual. Our driver, Maria Teresa de Perez, told us that she suspected that they would ask her to give us the tour when we arrived, as everyone else was so busy. She was right. Maria Teresa de Perez has been driving families to FANA for twenty some years and she knows all the staff and the building very well. They consider her part of the FANA team.

Maria Teresa first guided us through the office area where we greeted the staff we have come to know. We also had an opportunity to meet Abbey Staebell, one of our WNY FANA kids who has returned to FANA this summer to volunteer and visit her native country. Abbey's uncle, EJ Koeppel, works with and is a good friend of Jamie's. They both teach music at Lindbergh Elementary in the Ken-Ton school district. Jamie is the vocal teacher and EJ is the instrumental teacher. EJ has mentioned his connection to FANA and his beautiful niece, Abbey, and she has heard about us, as well. What a special surprise to find her at FANA for our return visit! She and several of her friends, also returning FANA kids, greeted us by name with hugs and well wishes. They were so excited to see Eli and welcome him to the WNY FANA family!

Posing with Abbey at FANA. Notice the hallway full of families who have come before us...

Next, we visited the children's rooms. Some of the rooms for older children were empty, because FANA has an in-house school program that the kids attend during the day. We walked by bright, windowed rooms full of empty beds, a small TV room where two children sat quietly, and then...several rooms full of babies and toddlers down for their afternoon naps. It was impossible not to feel emotional as we observed these rooms full of little ones resting in their cribs, on a mat on the floor, or being rocked by a nurse. Just a month ago, our son was one of them. He, too, was one of many waiting for a family, rather than the sole recipient of a proud mama and daddy's full hearted love and affection.

Bunk beds for the older children

Bathrooms and shower stalls for the kids

Toddler beds 

Time for television...

Naptime

Wide awake

Pint sized shower stalls and extra clothes in the bathrooms....

Playing in the crib...

Mama takes a minute to give thanks for the blessing of her little boy

FANA's pediatrician and our new friend, Lorena Panqueva Hoyos, found us in the children's wing and we exchanged hugs. She told us that there are approximately 90 children currently housed at FANA. However, only a small fraction of these kids are available for adoption. The majority of the children are trapped in the system; they've been taken away from their parents, but due to complex laws and procedures designed to protect the children, they have not legally cleared all the necessary hurdles between them and a loving family. The Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Inter-country Adoption took place in the Netherlands in 1993 and changed international adoption laws drastically. Since then, the adoption process all over the world has slowed down. http://adoption.state.gov/hague_convention/overview.php

Lorena pointed out the room Eli stayed in and the little boy, Oscar, who now sleeps in his crib. The four of us stopped for a picture outside the room and I silently said a little prayer for the sweet little boy who has taken my son's place and now waits for his own family.

Outside Eli's former room with Lorena

Sweet, sleeping Oscar has taken Eli's place....

We continued through the hallways of children's rooms and encountered our lovely babysitter, Milbia, almost unrecognizable in her nurses uniform, hair net and surgical mask. She embraced us all and introduced us to another nurse who was with her and caring for a fussy little girl.

Milbia in the middle!

Another toddler room, full of toys...
The little activity chair in the background is the one Eli was in for the first picture we ever received of him!

Finally, we found our way to the baby room, where the very youngest wards of FANA are cared for. We had been waiting for this room for over a week now, hoping to visit our friends', the Adelmans, new son- Rhode Joseph Adelman! Their darling little boy was just about to be fed when we arrived, but the nurse was patient with me and allowed us to snap several pictures and take a short video clip to send to the little guy's new parents. This was a highlight of the day for me. We are so excited for the Adelman family and cannot wait to see Rhode back in the Buffalo area with his WNY FANA family. He and Eli were together at FANA for several months and will be playmates and friends back in the USA.

Meet Rhode Joseph Adelman!

The tour ended with a visit to both of FANA's school programs. The in-house program is for children who are living at FANA. The second program is similar to what we call "Head Start" here in the USA. It is a government subsidized program for the pre-school aged children with families in the area surrounding FANA. All of the children were thrilled to see American visitors. They ran up to us, sharing their names as well as hugs and kisses! They were so endearing...In one classroom we visited, Jamie and I even sang a song in Spanish while we embraced the children. Daniel, an extroverted young boy, befriended us and insisted we take his picture. He introduced us to the other children and held my hand as he led me around the area.

Daniel

The FANA classroom

Fast friends: Eli, Jamie and Daniel

An atrium-like playroom where the boys kicked a soccer ball

One of Daniel's little friends, Dayana

A quick walk through FANA's cafeteria and fenced in "back yard" led us to the other pre-school program where the students were just finishing their day and packing up to return to their homes.

These children also greeted us with great enthusiasm and another charismatic little boy, Santiago, emerged as a leader. He insisted on his photo being taken and then wanted to look at it. We did this three or four times, together, and then I put my phone in my back pocket and began talking to some of the other children. Santiago, obviously street smart, managed to slyly capture my phone from my pocket without me noticing. He pushed his way through the crowd of kids and handed it back to me with a big smile on his face. "Foto?" How could I help but laugh?!!

Santiago and a friend, Sara 

One of three classrooms we saw...

Getting hugs and kisses

"Foto?"

Our last stop was back in FANA's main building. Through a small door off of the main atrium, we entered into an auditorium, complete with a sound and light booth, a stage with scenery and even a balcony! Maria Teresa explained that they use the auditorium for meetings, celebrations and presentations by the children. She joked that we should come back and give a recital on the stage someday! Maybe we will leave that for Elias...We are hoping the kid will grow to be a great lover and passionate performer of music.

We stopped in FANA's little gift shop, full of handmade items that the mothers make while they are pregnant and staying at FANA's Hogar Margarita. These items are then sold to support funding for FANA. We found a number of beautiful items and purchased them before going to Maria Teresa de Maldonado's office to meet about Eli's family history.

Most of the information we received had already been given to us in Eli's social history papers, at the time of our referral. However, we did learn some additional details about his biological family that are interesting to us and will be to Eli, someday. We have so enjoyed sharing the story of our family, his real family, and our adoption journey. However, we feel strongly that the story of his biological family is his alone. We will share those details with him, as he asks for them, in an age appropriate way. And perhaps someday he will decide to share that information with others. In the meantime, we are incredibly grateful for the path that brought Elias to us, but we also feel protective of that "prequel." We will keep it safe for our son, until he's ready to receive it. 

We concluded this special day with dinner out at Crepes and Waffles. Eli loves the Sopa del Sol there, so the three of us can all share a meal! We've found this to be an affordable, delicious and family friendly option for dinner here in Bogotá. 

Our dinner was a little later than usual, and after a discussion with both Maria Teresa de Maldonado and Maria Teresa de Perez about Eli's sleep schedule, we decided to try their suggestion and skip his midnight bottle that night. Instead of putting him to bed at 8pm, we held off until 9:20pm. We also added cereal to his bedtime bottle and hoped that he would sleep through the night. We were all happy campers on Tuesday morning, when he woke up smiling around 6:45am. Our almost ten-month old son is now sleeping through the night! :)

I have little to report for Tuesday, although we did receive big news! We made a quick morning trip with Jorge to a souvenir shop, El Zaque, and did a little shopping. As we were getting ready to go, Maria Teresa de Perez called to tell us that our case was ready for its final stage- Sentencia! She picked up Jamie (only one parent has to report to the court to sign the documents) at 2:00pm and they met Dr. Polo, our lawyer, at the court to complete the paperwork. This officially ends the Colombian portion of our adoption process! Unfortunately, we found out that day that Court #15 has a strict three day waiting period before they will release copies of the paperwork to the family. This stalls the rest of the work we have to do with the US Embassy to change Eli's birth certificate over to our family name and secure a passport for him so that we can all travel back to the US together. Maria Teresa requested that they push this along for us, due to my grandfather's upcoming memorial service. The office said that we could check back Thursday afternoon, and we might be able to get the copies a day earlier. So, we are keeping our fingers crossed!

Dr. Polo and our documents

Mama was home with Eli for several hours while Jamie, Maria Teresa and Dr. Polo contended with traffic and waiting lines at the court house. When Jamie got home, we decided to get out of the apartment again for dinner; this time we just crossed the street for cheeseburgers and fries at TGI Fridays. 

Eli was not so successful this time at sleeping through the night. He woke around 1:30am and Jamie gave him a bottle, but it did not calm him. I think he had a little stomach ache, because he could not get comfortable in our arms nor the crib and he cried for a good half hour straight. Finally, to ensure some sleep for myself, I moved into his room and put him down on the extra bed beside me. I created a barrier of pillows on the wall side and used my body to protect the open edge of the bed. He finally fell asleep next to me around 2:30am and slept until 6:30am. 

Yesterday, Wednesday, we took a long walk around our neighborhood and ate breakfast at Oma. I spent the afternoon working on the blog while Jamie took Eli down to the polo fields for a walk. They returned two hours later, after a trip to the mall and the chinese restaurant, with dinner for me! We had a nice Skype session with the Adelman family and introduced them to Eli. Then we put our little guy down for the night around 9pm. He actually reached for his crib, this time, after his bedtime bottle! We all slept soundly through the night, waking to Eli's happy chatter around 7am this morning!

Today we have plans to get out for lunch and then later, to spend the evening with the three FANA kids adopted by the Pyc family. The kids are going to come down to our apartment for a few hours to hang out while Ken and Leigh Anne get a little alone time and dinner together. We are looking forward to a nice evening with these special kids and we've invited our upstairs friend, Maria Cristina, down to visit, as well. Perhaps, a game of UNO will ensue...

On Tuesday, we reached the one month marker for our time here in Bogotá. We knew coming down that we should be prepared to stay for up to eight weeks. We are grateful that things are moving along quickly and that we will be home soon. This time together has bonded us as a family, we've made wonderful new friends, and we have a deeper understanding and appreciation for our son's country of birth. This trip has changed our lives, for the better, on so many levels. And now, we are ready to bring our son home. We are so excited to share this beautiful boy with our family and friends! 

I hope to be back with another blog and more good news, soon. Our hearts are homeward bound...