Salt for the Soul; Saltines for the Stomach

Yesterday marked one week since our arrival here in Colombia. Maria Teresa had offered to take us on an excursion, and we were ready to get out for a change of scenery. We packed up Eli and all his gear (no small task as all you parents know) and headed out for the day around 10:15am. We stopped and picked up Maria Teresa's friend, Carmen, who used to own the recently closed Il Refugio. Il Refugio was one of the places we considered staying here in Bogotá, as many of our FANA friends had stayed there during their own adoptions. It was so nice to meet Carmen and chat with her, we have many common friends from the US, who she housed and fed and assisted during this special time in their lives.

With Carmen in tow, we were off to Nemocon a happening little town about an hour and 15 minutes north of Bogotá. Nemocon is home to one of two salt mines that are very well known in this part of Colombia. We weren't exactly sure what to expect, but all three of us welcomed a chance to get out of our familiar hotel radius and see more of this interesting country. We traveled through several small towns as the landscape became more rural. The poverty and ram-shack housing of these areas sits in sharp contrast with the green fields, lush flowers, and towering mountains. Milk cows are everywhere; they roam right into the main streets of the town, paying no regards to the remnants of fences meant to contain them. The drive to Nemocon was a feast for the eyes. We kept Eli in his carrier, attached to Jamie, most of the time, as the roads are in very tough shape and impressively bumpy in the more rural areas. But, as the traffic and speed of our journey slowed down, I held him on my lap and he reached happily toward the window, watching the blur of color and texture go by.

A Colombian Car Seat

Old brick structures are characteristic of these small towns...

Cows strolling down Main Street

Entering Namocon

Nemocon was the prettiest of the towns we saw. The buildings and storefronts were freshly painted bright, festive colors, and all the structures looked to be in better condition that the other towns. I'm sure this is a result of the tourism that the Salt Mine brings to the little town. Maria Teresa also told us that the town received a facelift when it was chosen by an American film producer to be the set for a movie starring Antonio Banderas, portraying the recent Chilean mining disaster.

Bright colored store fronts

We walked through town and past the main square and church. Apparently, all Colombian towns are designed in the same way, with the heart of town being a square or plaza directly in front of the town church. We paused for some pictures and then continued on up a hill toward the entrance of the Salt Mine attraction. 

Carmen, Jamie and Eli

In the main square at Namocon

The town church

We paid our entrance fee of $18,000 pesos each (doesn't that sound so expensive?) which amounts to approximately $9.00. Maria Teresa and Carmen decided to wait for us at a table near the entrance as they had been in the mine several times before. So, we quickly gave Eli a bottle, grabbed our hard hats and jumped in the next available tour group. 

The tour was an hour and a half long and all in Spanish. The guide was so nice to us and kept thanking us, in Spanish, for coming to Colombia. He also told us about a relative of his in Tampa, Florida. But, I think that was about all Jamie and I understood the entire time we were down there! Still, it was a nice way to spend a few hours. The mine was actually warmer than the air up above and  the salt structures were quite fascinating. Some were beautifully lit with colored lights and there was a little cathedral built into the mine with benches where Eli and I took a break and he fell asleep in my arms. 

Honestly, it was probably better that we couldn't understand the tour guide; we didn't have to feel bad for not paying too much attention. We lingered at the back of the crowd, more fascinated with our son than the salt mine. I think we are still so infatuated with Eli, it is hard for us to focus on anything else.
We took turns holding him, as he alternated between sleep and awake time. At one point during the day, Jamie commented, "My arm is tired, my shoulder aches, my fingers are falling asleep, and I'm completely happy. I wouldn't give this up for anything!" A little discomfort for that beautiful little face nuzzled into your chest, the warm bundle of his body all snug against yours...It is such a small price to pay.

Near the end of the tour, everyone began rubbing their hands on the wall of one of the caves. A group of young girls even took their shoes off and rubbed the bottom of their feet on the wall. One of the girls spoke a little English, so I asked her why we were rubbing the wall. She told me that the salt was good for your aura, good for your soul. I could feel the warmth of the wall under my palm, it was comforting. Eli reached his little hand out and Jamie put his hand on the wall, so he could feel it, too.

I like to think our auras were pretty bright as we walked out of that mine.

After the tour, Maria Teresa and Carmen took us to a local restaurant, La Chocita, for a late lunch. The atmosphere was fun and eclectic, with bottles of wine and liquor strung in garlands across the ceiling. We sat at a long picnic table, on benches. Eli's stroller was parked at the end of the table and he was quiet and content, after another bottle. Jamie and I both tried a famous Bogotá traditional dish,   ajiaco, a soup of chicken, potatoes, corn, avocado, rice, capers, and a spice unique to Colombia, "guasca." I've been wanting to try this stew and Maria Teresa assured us that it was very good at that location. The soup was delicious. Even Eli enjoyed a few bites. Our beverages were fresh tropical

fruit juices blended with milk and ice in to a sort of smoothie. Again, this tasted so good, but I have a feeling that unwashed fruit or perhaps ice made of contaminated water is what did me in today. 

After lunch, we walked back behind the restaurant and looked at the cows in the pasture. There were also horses across the street...So much for Eli to take in. He slept most of the way home and by the time we got back to our apartment it was 5:30pm. We thanked Maria Teresa and Carmen and exchanged warm hugs. It was such a wonderful day for us; a nice family outing with two very kind and informative new friends. 

After our big adventure, we had a quiet night at home. We managed to Skype with our friends from The Lake Effect (TLE), the a cappella group Jamie sings with back in Buffalo, and we also received a phone call from Jorge Rico, the tour guide who helps all our FANA families see the sights around Bogotá. He just called to introduce himself and give us his contact information so, when we are ready, he can help us make plans to do more sight seeing. 

I was feeling pretty exhausted last night, so I skipped the blog and went to bed. Our hope had been to rise early and walk several blocks to Usaquen, a part of the city that contains a well-known flea market and artisans bazarr on Sundays and Monday holidays. Since today was another holiday, it seemed a perfect day for this outing. 

However, I woke at six-thirty to give Eli his bottle and I didn't feel quite right. In the middle of changing his clothes, I had to call for Jamie and run to the bathroom. What ensued was twelve hours of twisting and turning in bed from stomach cramps, frequent trips to the bathroom, a low grade fever, chills and snatches of sleep wherever I could get them. 

We've been very careful about drinking the water here. We boil two large pots of water every other day and bottle it in our fridge for drinking and making Eli's bottle. I even kept a bottle next to the sink the first few days we were here to brush my teeth with, but I've been using the tap water recently and just being careful not to swallow any. The first few days we were here, I definitely felt a bit of the altitude sickness you hear about with Bogotá. I was tired and achy, had a mild head ache and just felt a little out of sorts. But, the past four or five days I've been feeling pretty good. This completely caught me off guard.

Poor Jamie had to be a single parent today. As I laid in bed and listened to him juggle Eli's schedule on his own: bath time, diaper changes, feedings. playtime, teething fuss, naps, etc., I had a new appreciation for single parents. It is so hard to manage all of that on your own. Of course, my husband is kind of a rock star care giver. He takes excellent care of me and now he does the same for our son. He and Eli went to the grocery store and the pharmacy for me and came home with ginger ale, saltines, and something the pharmacist gave him when he acted out my illness for her! 

I finally seem to be feeling better, although weak. I'm hoping my appetite will return tomorrow and I'll be able to got to the immigration office with my boys and Maria Teresa, as planned. 

I also spoke with my mom tonight and she filled me in on my grandparents. My grandpa is back in the hospital, the result of a mini-stroke this morning. I ask for your continued thoughts and prayers. As joyful as this experience is and as much as I am grateful for the time to bond with Eli, it is difficult to be so far from home and family. Thank goodness for technology! We are talking, skyping, and emailing our loved ones daily, along with so many friends...It keeps us feeling connected to our world. 

Eli just woke up and had a bottle a little early today. I think our trip yesterday messed with his schedule. That, coupled with the teething discomfort, made for a fussy day. Jamie was so good with him; he is so patient and loving as a father. But, we all need a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is a new day. I hope to embrace it feeling healthy, again, and full of life.

Just a Good Day

Just a short update...

Eli is down for the night after another wonderful day. He is starting to eat more for us and is holding his own bottle. He likes to be independent and tries to take the spoon right out of our hands when we are feeding him. Unfortunately, he isn't as interested in feeding himself as he is in waving the spoon around! So, the result is food in his hair, on the chair, on the floor, and on us! But, you can't blame the kid for trying!

I've got this, Mom!

Yum! Eating is fun when you have a Barney chair!

He is also becoming more and more vocal. He had just started consonant vowel combinations when we received him (ba and ga), but today we got a lot of "da, da, da, da, da!" Of course, Jamie is thrilled, while I wait in the shadows (like most mothers) hoping he'll soon figure out "ma-ma!" :) Why is it that the "ma" is so much harder for them than the "da?" I will have to ask my friend who is a speech therapist, but I'm guessing that articulating with the tongue (t, d, b, g) comes, developmentally, before the lip consonants (m and n). He is making the "mmmm" sound quite often, but hasn't figured out how to combine it with a vowel yet. But, no matter what the sound is, his chatter is infectiously joyful. We both just grin when he starts babbling with so much gusto. Babies are such fun!

Today we went for a short walk on the grounds here, as the sun was out again. Jamie took Eli in for his nap and I stayed outside with a book. I found a sunny spot on a bench in the fountain plaza and read for a bit. There were three Colombian siblings, a girl about 9 years old and her two brothers, perhaps seven and three years old, playing in the square. They ran around, chasing each other and squealing, their bright laughter bouncing off the old brick walls of the buildings. It felt so good to sit there, soaking up the rays of light and observing the sweet glee of the children.

The city is bustling with excitement today because of the World Cup game between Colombia and Uruguay. On game days, this place is a sea of yellow jerseys; you wouldn't believe the frenzy! This afternoon we decided to take a walk across the street to Unicentro again, just to get out for a bit. We dressed Eli in his little jersey and jeans for the occasion.

In the mall, they had large flat screen televisions set up in various locations and crowds of yellow shirted fans were gathered around watching the game together, honking horns and cheering. It was mayhem! When Colombia scored their second goal, pretty much securing their win, store clerks from all of the shops came running out into the mall, screaming and jumping and cheering, to watch the instant replay on the screens. I even saw one young woman crying with pride.

The noise and crowds were a little overwhelming for Jamie and I, but Eli didn't even flinch in his stroller. He just looked around, cool as a cucumber, and took it all in. We decided to head back to the apartment, but stopped on the way at a street vendor's stand and purchased jerseys for Jamie and I, so we can take part in the festivities, as a family, for the next game between Colombia and Brazil on Friday, July 4th.

Back at the apartment, we had a whole slew of Skype/Facetime appointments which Eli was extremely patient and well behaved for. We were able to Skype with my grandparents and my mom at the hospital in Erie. Grandpa's voice was strong and he sounded like he was in pretty good spirits. I heard him laugh once or twice at Eli and we exchanged several "I love you"s. Grandpa is being transferred to Sweden Valley Manor in Coudersport, PA (a facility near the town my grandparents live in), for two weeks of rehab. My mom is looking into having my grandma stay there with him. Hopefully, this will work out for them; they don't like to be separated. 

Next, Eli got to meet his cousin Avery, Uncle Mark and Aunt Kelle. Avery is only six months older than Eli, so we are excited for the two cuties to hang out together. My cousin and his wife are not only family, but also dear friends and it was so good to see both of their smiling faces and hear their voices. 

We also connected with Joy and Adam Hardbattle, friends of ours from Tonawanda and their 7.5 month old daughter, Naomi. Again, we feel so fortunate that technology allows us the luxury of communicating with those who are dear to us while we are a continent away! Joy and Adam had lots of great parenting tips to share for kids Naomi and Eli's age and the two babies both chattered and entertained us with their happy sounds and expressions. 

Our final call of the night was to a family party in honor of Jamie's Uncle Jack and Aunt Tina's 50th Wedding Anniversary! It was a quick Skype session, but a meaningful one. So glad that we could make an appearance, with Eli, at this special celebration. 

And that, my friends, is a full day here in Bogotá! We managed to squeeze in plenty of kisses and snuggles and raspberries (Eli's latest accomplishment), too! I'm keeping tonight's post short, so Jamie and I can try to have a little downtime together this evening before we fall asleep. Although the schedule isn't so busy, it is full. Full of emotion, learning, new and unfamiliar experiences, and physical play. I think I am using muscles I didn't even know I had, lifting and carrying, bouncing and juggling our little man around for hours each day. So, we are tired, in the best way!

We have an adventure planned for tomorrow, but I love surprises! 

I've got a secret!

So, you'll have to tune in next time to hear more! Goodnight, my friends! 

The Simplest Things

Here in Bogotá, our fast paced lives have come to a screeching halt. With nothing to do (except the most important thing- being with our son) and nowhere to be (minus the rare adoption appointment), the hours slip by unnoticed. We sometimes lose our sense of time...which is a surprisingly pleasant experience.

Slowly, we are settling into a rhythm and starting to check the clock just to make sure we are keeping Eli on a schedule that seems to work well for him.

We wake around 6:30 or 7am, when Eli decides he is done sleeping. He gets his first bottle and a clean diaper. Shortly after, around 8:30, we try to feed him breakfast, but he hasn't been too interested. Then, we play and read a book, sing songs and pass the time quietly until about 10 am when he gets a snack.

This morning, Eli had his first bath and it was so much fun! He loved the warmth of the water in his little tub and he had fun splashing around a bit. Since we couldn't bring everything to Bogotá, and bath toys didn't make the packing list, we used two of the lids that cover his bottles as cups and he had a grand time dipping them in and out of the water. He didn't even fuss when I washed and rinsed his hair, pouring water over his reclined head with our big plastic measuring cup. I used our Burt's Bees Baby Wash and it didn't sting his eyes at all, plus he smelled as sweet as honey...I love the light, warm aroma of that whole line of baby products.

I wonder how this will go....

Dipping our toes in...

No screaming yet!

This isn't so bad! 

Rub a dub, dub!

Make-shift bath toys do the trick

Sitting up all on my own!

Playing in the water

Hi, Mama!

I'm teething; Everything goes in my mouth!

After his bath, we tried again to get some food in our little monkey, but no such luck. Today we had a special visitor scheduled at 11am. Luis, the psychologist from FANA was coming to check in with us and see how Eli is adjusting. Sometime next week, we will have an interview with Bienestar (sort of like Colombia's version of social services), and before that interview, Luis will submit a summary of his visit with us and his assessment of Eli's transition and well being in our family.

Luis ended up calling around 11:15 to say he was stuck in traffic and would be late. Of course, right about then, Eli became very agitated. He was crying and whining and none of the usual tricks were working. We knew he must be hungry, because he had been refusing most of the food he'd been offered over the last few days, so we tried a bottle of formula and he gulped the entire thing back and fell fast asleep in my arms. It was just a little early for his nap and Luis was on his way, so I didn't put him down in his crib, but just held his peaceful, sleeping body in my arms for a half hour or so until our visitor arrived.

Luis was very friendly and relaxed. He told me I could put Eli down for his nap and he would just chat with us, but when I moved the little guy to the crib he woke up and clearly did not want to lie down yet. So, he came back out and remained with us for the duration of the visit.

Eli was such a good boy, snuggling me most of the time and quietly taking everything in. He did smile and interact with us a bit and Luis actually became quite emotional when he remarked that this was the best part of his job. He told us that he couldn't believe how much stronger Eli seemed already and he was very impressed to see him stand up, holding on to our fingers. It was only last Friday, at FANA, that our son had started sitting up alone for the first time. I showed Luis a video clip of Eli crawling toward me and he was visibly moved by it. "Wow," he kept saying. "This is so good." Eli is also now able to hold his own bottle and is starting to mimic small sequences of movement, such as putting his little toys in and out of an empty pan.

He asked us how we were doing and we told him that we loved parenting and that we were enjoying every little moment with Eli, but that being in Colombia, away from our language and our families, was a bit of an adjustment. He nodded empathetically and said it was a big change for all three of us. He asked how we divided up the responsibilities or if we did everything together. We told him, honestly, how we often end up doing things together because we both want to bond with Eli and experience all the simple things that make children so miraculous. But, we also shared that we check in with each other and when one of us is getting tired, stressed or just overwhelmed, the other one takes over. By doing this, we try to ensure that our whole family remains healthy, rested and balanced. We take turns when we need to, otherwise we are all together.

Luis put us both in tears when he said, as he was leaving, that it was so good to see people who were willing to take the time to be with a child the way we are with Eli. The truth is, we just can't do it any other way. We can't get enough of our son!

Luis left around 12:30pm, which is usually the start of Eli's nap time. We decided to try to feed him some lunch before he went to sleep, so we pureéd some papaya I had cut up this morning. It was my first time dealing with papaya and I was surprised by how easily the knife glided through; it is such a juicy, soft, fragrant fruit. It also turns out to be one of my son's favorite foods! I began feeding him, prepared for the usual pout and whine we get when food appears. But, I waved the spoon under his nose to let him smell the papaya first and he opened his mouth right up. He ate that first bite in one gulp and immediately opened his mouth for more. It got to the point, where I was actually struggling to keep up with his appetite. He'd swallow a bite and then bang on his high chair tray for more before I could even get it on the spoon! He ate two whole servings of papaya, one serving of potatoes, and some juice! After, he went down for his nap and slept a solid two hours. I'm so proud of that little guy! He's making so much progress in just a few days.

During his nap, we made some phone calls, returned emails, and took care of some other essentials. Around 3pm, we woke Eli up and had a great Skype session with my mom, grandma, sister Kelley, and our niece Lydia and nephew Malachi, who were all gathered at my mom's house. My grandma and grandpa have been having some health problems as of late and my family is getting pretty concerned about their well being. They are 88 years old and have had a wonderful life, giving so much love and laughter to our family and their wider circle of friends. They've been an inspiration to so many with their work ethic, no-nonsense practical approach to life, energy and zest, appreciation for all things living, and their steadfast commitment to supporting each other and their family. They have been "ageless" to all of us, as they haven't slowed down as the years passed and they never talked about or acted as if they were "old." But, we've noticed a sudden change in both of them since they lost their son this spring, my Uncle Mick, to cancer. No one should ever have to lose their child. I know that now in a way only mothers and fathers truly comprehend. I think the loss has taken a devastating toll on both of my grandparents. They don't say much; they are not complainers. But, a whole series of changes in their health has resulted in a rather sudden decline for both of them. It is very difficult to be here, so far away, when I know they are both not feeling well. My mom is taking care of them, and she is so good at taking care of people, but Jamie and I both wish we could be there to help. I wish I could set my little Eli on my Grandma's lap and watch her coo and jabber at him. I wish I could see my Grandpa's quiet smile, his firm nod, and hear the little "humph" he makes when he approves of something. But, for now, Grandpa is in the hospital and my Grandma is very discouraged as she is slowly losing her ability to clearly see and hear. I'm so grateful that she was able to see Eli via the internet today and I heard her laugh at him a few times as he entertained us all with his adorable little expressions and sounds.

I'm asking for thoughts and prayers for these two amazing people, my grandparents, who have in so many ways helped shape my being.

Today was another sunny, beautiful day here in the city so we decided to go for a walk to the "polo fields" which used to belong to Bogotá's country club, but are no longer in use and now serve the purpose of a public park. We put Eli in the stroller and walked about five blocks to the fields. The sky was clear and the temperature mild and pleasant. There were runners jogging around the perimeter of the field which appears to be approximately the size of two football fields. Families were playing soccer in various parts of the park and teenagers were lying in the grass, giggling and gossiping. It was lovely. We walked around the entire field once while Eli jabbered and played with his blanket. On the way back to the apartment, he reached one little hand out and caught my finger, holding it tight in his grasp. So, this is how we walked home: Jamie pushing the stroller and me walking along beside them, holding my son's tiny hand.

At the old polo grounds in Bogotá

It was so nice out; we didn't want to go back indoors. But, it gets dark here every night at six o'clock and so, we spent the last twenty minutes or so of daylight walking around the grounds of our hotel/apartment complex. It is very serene here. The grounds are so well cared for and quite picturesque.

Back inside, I fed Eli successfully again and then he played for awhile on his own while Jamie got dinner going. He started to get cranky again around 7pm; those teeth are really bothering him. When either of us hold him and he is fussy like that, he burrows his head into us and bites on our shoulders. I've been giving him the babyganics teething gel which is made with only natural clove oil and stevia, and it seems to really help. He's even starting to take it willingly, opening his mouth and biting down on the q-tip when I apply it to his lower gum area.

Around 7:30, his eyes started to droop and we gave him a bottle which he gulped back again, eagerly. Poor little guy must have been starving after denying himself food for two days! He went down in his crib quietly and is sleeping now.

Jamie and I do the same things each day- the simple things: prepare a meal, wash dishes, play with our son, talk to family, hold Eli and sing to him, go for a walk, change a diaper, make a bottle, put our child to bed. I know life won't be this quiet once we return to our part of the world in a few weeks, and there's a part of me that is anxious to share our "normal" life with Eli. But, this is not so bad...In fact, it is quite good and sweet. The simplest things take on a whole new meaning when you are doing them for the child you love, the child you call your own. My time here in Colombia is reminding me that simplicity is a gift. I hope we can take some of it home with us, when we return to Buffalo.

What It Means to be Married

Today, Jamie and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary, and this is how we started our day...

Elias, after his morning bottle

Over and over again, this little guy takes our breath away. We keep looking at each other, through tears and shaking our heads in disbelief. "He's ours!" After so many years of trying to create a family, carrying around the emptiness of that missing piece, struggling with feelings of failure and frustration, trying not to get caught up in "why us?" but silently wondering, every day, when our turn would come or if it ever would...After twelve years of seeking parenthood and sixteen years of marriage, there are no more questions. Eli is the why.

I've always said that our wedding was the most amazing day of my life. It was a perfect day. I am a "Type A," control-freak, detail oriented, sort of person. My mind is always running a mile a minute and I have a hard time relaxing unless I think it is my "job" to relax, as in yoga or during a massage. Give me a "job" and I'm all over it! But, without an assignment, I get a little anxious...Our wedding day was an exception to this rule. We planned for a year and a half and every detail was taken care of; all the "jobs" were delegated. The day Heather Klein became Heather Holden felt like a "time out" from being me! I wasn't stressed at all. I sort of floated through the day, all bliss and joy...so certain of the choice I was making and the love Jamie and I shared.

June 26th, 1998

For there has never been a shortage of love.

We've had a great romance...A story with its share of twists and turns, heart break and triumph. We've loved unabashedly, without reserve. Over the course of sixteen years, we've probably had more than our fair share of happiness. We have lived our life with a spirit of celebration and passion for each other, for growth and for new experiences. But, we've also stumbled along the way. There have been losses, heartache, and disappointments that took their toll. We've hurt each other and forgiven, we've sometimes taken our relationship for granted, and at one time...we came dangerously close to losing all that we had invested in the building of our marriage. After a period of great struggle, we finally learned to honestly love one another unconditionally. I know that unconditional is a word we throw around loosely in this culture of Disney princess romances, but parents know the true meaning of unconditional love and they also know that it is easier to give it to a child than a spouse. In fact, I dare say it is rare amongst spouses. While I will never claim to do it perfectly, our marriage has become my proudest accomplishment. We have worked harder than we ever imagined we would when we spoke those vows, "for better or worse," on June 26th, 1998, but the result of that work is a relationship and a love that I didn't even know was possible at 22 years of age.

Renewing our vows, June 26th, 2010

When we renewed our wedding vows on our 12th anniversary, in 2010, we also renewed our commitment to creating a family. We gathered our strength and researched our options. In 2011, after eight years of the infertility roller coaster ride, we began our adoption journey.

And here we are, today. 

Yes, that little bald spot is the back of our beautiful son's head! We, rather naively, attempted a nice dinner out tonight, to celebrate. Although we had a fantastic time, I think it was a bit much for Eli.

You can see how out of our minds we were with happiness while our little guy more or less tolerated our agenda!

He had such a great day. Last night, he slept soundly through the night. When we woke him for his midnight feeding he was peaceful and cooperative and went right back down. This morning, he woke up snuggly and happy. We were able to Skype with my mom and Grandma this morning and he even laughed and "chatted" with them for a bit.

At 9:30am, we put Eli in his umbrella stroller for the first time and met up with Maria Teresa de Perez for a walk to the notary. He fussed a bit when we first harnessed him in, but as soon as the stroller started moving he was perfectly content and was incredibly good, even at the notary, where everyone commented on his sweet little face- "muy bonito!"

Eli's first outing

He had no interest in lunch when we returned to the apartment, but went down willingly for his nap.
While he was sleeping, I called the FANA doctor, Lorena, just to check in. She had encouraged me to give her a call with any questions or concerns I had during these first few days. I told her about the eating issue and she reassured me that it is quite normal for an adopted infant to refuse food for a few days. She said his fussing was likely due to the teething, but also that he is dealing with so much change that he is probably trying to have some power over the few things he can control. He can refuse to eat, so he does. She encouraged us to add another bottle or two to his schedule for the next few days, since he takes the formula with no issue. Wisely, she also advised us not to give the bottle to him right away, when he refuses the food, but to wait at least a half hour before replacing the meal with formula. This way, we won't reinforce the idea that if he refuses to eat, he will get a bottle. Lorena was pleased to hear that our little family was bonding so quickly and that Eli was interacting lovingly with us.

While Eli was sleeping, Jamie and I also broke down and decided to get some take out food for lunch instead of preparing our own meal. As wonderful as this whole experience has been, it has also been emotionally taxing. We are far from home, away from our families and friends, in a country that does not speak our language, and a city that we are unfamiliar with. We've had incredible support on all fronts and we aren't complaining, just acknowledging that it is challenging. Today, we decided that we should cut ourselves a break and let someone else make a meal for us! Not even a block away is an American style burger joint called Archie's where Jamie was able to secure some pizza for himself and a bacon cheeseburger and fries for me! (Bacon DOES exist in Colombia!) Talk about an indulgence! We don't even eat that way at home very often, but it felt like exactly the right thing today.

When Eli woke up from his nap, we made a bottle for him and he drank almost all of it. We played for a bit on the floor in the living room until, after several drizzly, overcast days, the sun suddenly popped out. Light streamed in through our windows and energized us! We decided to take another walk while the weather was so nice and get some groceries at a smaller, less crowded grocery store we had discovered up the street.

Eli was very quiet and good for this outing. During his time at FANA, he did not go outside. He had some respiratory issues early on and was born a little premature, so they were very cautious and they didn't want him out in bad weather. He has only been outdoors once or twice to visit the hospital. Bustling Bogotá, with all of its traffic, noise and people was quite a sight for him to behold. His eyes scanned the scene quickly, trying to take everything in. Even though the sun was out, we dressed him warmly and snuggled him into the stroller with a blanket. We stopped at Pan Pá Ya for cappuccinos and sat in the shade outside. I ordered a little cornbread piece to share with Jamie and offered a bit of the warm soft bread to Eli. He took it from my fingers with no complaints and when I pulled another small piece off for him he grabbed my hand for more! It was a wonderful feeling to see him happy to eat with us. There's something about the action of sharing food...communion, I suppose, that makes our little trio feel more like a family.

We loaded up on groceries, getting the essentials but this time adding some familiar treats to have on hand for comfort during moments of culture shock. We actually found bacon (toccinetta) at this new grocery store and we picked up some cheese, pepperoni and crackers for a snack as well as a dark chocolate bar and two packs of M&Ms! (We all have our weaknesses and chocolate is among mine!) We were glad we had chosen to bring a stroller to Bogotá with us (thanks to Clare Zgaljardic) when we were able to load the bottom of it with groceries and hang some of the other bags off the handles.

When we arrived home, Jamie made Eli some dinner while I cleaned up for our 6:00pm dinner reservation at the hotel's restaurant. Eli actually ate a good amount of pureed potato and chicken for Jamie and some juice! We were thrilled!

Our happy day ended with our celebration dinner at a lovely restaurant we don't even know the name of! It is in the courtyard of La Fontana and the staff there were so accommodating. The food was very good and they gave us a table, alone, near the back of the room where Eli's fussing wouldn't bother anyone. It was a busy day for our boy and we were probably asking a bit much by expecting him to attend a formal dinner reservation with us. Still, we were more than happy to take turns holding him in our laps or walking around with him in our arms, softly singing songs to lull him.

As I sat with my meal and watched my husband, across the room, head to head with our son, so gently rocking him and quietly singing a lullaby, tears began to flow down my cheeks. The scenario must have been perplexing to onlookers: a woman crying alone at a table set for two, a stuffed dog discarded on the floor next to a bright red stroller, and a man with a baby, pacing the restroom area of the restaurant and singing- not the usual fine dining fare, but for us it made perfect sense.

This is what it means to be married: Jamie's love-filled eyes meeting mine across the room, the tears that fall in gratitude for the gift of husband, father, partner and best friend, the taking of turns so that each gets nourishment, is allowed a peaceful moment to reflect, but is also, in turn, granted the honor of being the pacifier and the source of comfort to our precious miracle of a son. Marriage is the broken road that brought us here and the mountain top view of Eli's smile. It isn't perfect, it isn't easy, and it isn't always pretty, but it is a deep understanding and a knowing familiarness I share with no one else. It is romance and passion, but also homemade dinners and helping with dishes. My marriage is a choice, everyday, to love, to appreciate, and to respect the sanctity of the most emotionally and physically intimate relationship I will know in this lifetime. And, oh, it is such a worthwhile endeavor! The rewards of our tried and true union are abundant and incredibly valuable. Tonight, I thank God for every step of our journey.

When we renewed our vows, we lit our unity candle to a song by Sara Groves titled, "Different Kinds of Happy." It really spoke to the evolution of our marriage...

Better than our promises

Is the day we got to keep them,

I wish those two could see us now

They never would believe how 

There are different kinds of happy...

With Eli, we have discovered a whole new kind of happy. What an amazing anniversary present.