The Simplest Things

Here in Bogotá, our fast paced lives have come to a screeching halt. With nothing to do (except the most important thing- being with our son) and nowhere to be (minus the rare adoption appointment), the hours slip by unnoticed. We sometimes lose our sense of time...which is a surprisingly pleasant experience.

Slowly, we are settling into a rhythm and starting to check the clock just to make sure we are keeping Eli on a schedule that seems to work well for him.

We wake around 6:30 or 7am, when Eli decides he is done sleeping. He gets his first bottle and a clean diaper. Shortly after, around 8:30, we try to feed him breakfast, but he hasn't been too interested. Then, we play and read a book, sing songs and pass the time quietly until about 10 am when he gets a snack.

This morning, Eli had his first bath and it was so much fun! He loved the warmth of the water in his little tub and he had fun splashing around a bit. Since we couldn't bring everything to Bogotá, and bath toys didn't make the packing list, we used two of the lids that cover his bottles as cups and he had a grand time dipping them in and out of the water. He didn't even fuss when I washed and rinsed his hair, pouring water over his reclined head with our big plastic measuring cup. I used our Burt's Bees Baby Wash and it didn't sting his eyes at all, plus he smelled as sweet as honey...I love the light, warm aroma of that whole line of baby products.

I wonder how this will go....

Dipping our toes in...

No screaming yet!

This isn't so bad! 

Rub a dub, dub!

Make-shift bath toys do the trick

Sitting up all on my own!

Playing in the water

Hi, Mama!

I'm teething; Everything goes in my mouth!

After his bath, we tried again to get some food in our little monkey, but no such luck. Today we had a special visitor scheduled at 11am. Luis, the psychologist from FANA was coming to check in with us and see how Eli is adjusting. Sometime next week, we will have an interview with Bienestar (sort of like Colombia's version of social services), and before that interview, Luis will submit a summary of his visit with us and his assessment of Eli's transition and well being in our family.

Luis ended up calling around 11:15 to say he was stuck in traffic and would be late. Of course, right about then, Eli became very agitated. He was crying and whining and none of the usual tricks were working. We knew he must be hungry, because he had been refusing most of the food he'd been offered over the last few days, so we tried a bottle of formula and he gulped the entire thing back and fell fast asleep in my arms. It was just a little early for his nap and Luis was on his way, so I didn't put him down in his crib, but just held his peaceful, sleeping body in my arms for a half hour or so until our visitor arrived.

Luis was very friendly and relaxed. He told me I could put Eli down for his nap and he would just chat with us, but when I moved the little guy to the crib he woke up and clearly did not want to lie down yet. So, he came back out and remained with us for the duration of the visit.

Eli was such a good boy, snuggling me most of the time and quietly taking everything in. He did smile and interact with us a bit and Luis actually became quite emotional when he remarked that this was the best part of his job. He told us that he couldn't believe how much stronger Eli seemed already and he was very impressed to see him stand up, holding on to our fingers. It was only last Friday, at FANA, that our son had started sitting up alone for the first time. I showed Luis a video clip of Eli crawling toward me and he was visibly moved by it. "Wow," he kept saying. "This is so good." Eli is also now able to hold his own bottle and is starting to mimic small sequences of movement, such as putting his little toys in and out of an empty pan.

He asked us how we were doing and we told him that we loved parenting and that we were enjoying every little moment with Eli, but that being in Colombia, away from our language and our families, was a bit of an adjustment. He nodded empathetically and said it was a big change for all three of us. He asked how we divided up the responsibilities or if we did everything together. We told him, honestly, how we often end up doing things together because we both want to bond with Eli and experience all the simple things that make children so miraculous. But, we also shared that we check in with each other and when one of us is getting tired, stressed or just overwhelmed, the other one takes over. By doing this, we try to ensure that our whole family remains healthy, rested and balanced. We take turns when we need to, otherwise we are all together.

Luis put us both in tears when he said, as he was leaving, that it was so good to see people who were willing to take the time to be with a child the way we are with Eli. The truth is, we just can't do it any other way. We can't get enough of our son!

Luis left around 12:30pm, which is usually the start of Eli's nap time. We decided to try to feed him some lunch before he went to sleep, so we pureéd some papaya I had cut up this morning. It was my first time dealing with papaya and I was surprised by how easily the knife glided through; it is such a juicy, soft, fragrant fruit. It also turns out to be one of my son's favorite foods! I began feeding him, prepared for the usual pout and whine we get when food appears. But, I waved the spoon under his nose to let him smell the papaya first and he opened his mouth right up. He ate that first bite in one gulp and immediately opened his mouth for more. It got to the point, where I was actually struggling to keep up with his appetite. He'd swallow a bite and then bang on his high chair tray for more before I could even get it on the spoon! He ate two whole servings of papaya, one serving of potatoes, and some juice! After, he went down for his nap and slept a solid two hours. I'm so proud of that little guy! He's making so much progress in just a few days.

During his nap, we made some phone calls, returned emails, and took care of some other essentials. Around 3pm, we woke Eli up and had a great Skype session with my mom, grandma, sister Kelley, and our niece Lydia and nephew Malachi, who were all gathered at my mom's house. My grandma and grandpa have been having some health problems as of late and my family is getting pretty concerned about their well being. They are 88 years old and have had a wonderful life, giving so much love and laughter to our family and their wider circle of friends. They've been an inspiration to so many with their work ethic, no-nonsense practical approach to life, energy and zest, appreciation for all things living, and their steadfast commitment to supporting each other and their family. They have been "ageless" to all of us, as they haven't slowed down as the years passed and they never talked about or acted as if they were "old." But, we've noticed a sudden change in both of them since they lost their son this spring, my Uncle Mick, to cancer. No one should ever have to lose their child. I know that now in a way only mothers and fathers truly comprehend. I think the loss has taken a devastating toll on both of my grandparents. They don't say much; they are not complainers. But, a whole series of changes in their health has resulted in a rather sudden decline for both of them. It is very difficult to be here, so far away, when I know they are both not feeling well. My mom is taking care of them, and she is so good at taking care of people, but Jamie and I both wish we could be there to help. I wish I could set my little Eli on my Grandma's lap and watch her coo and jabber at him. I wish I could see my Grandpa's quiet smile, his firm nod, and hear the little "humph" he makes when he approves of something. But, for now, Grandpa is in the hospital and my Grandma is very discouraged as she is slowly losing her ability to clearly see and hear. I'm so grateful that she was able to see Eli via the internet today and I heard her laugh at him a few times as he entertained us all with his adorable little expressions and sounds.

I'm asking for thoughts and prayers for these two amazing people, my grandparents, who have in so many ways helped shape my being.

Today was another sunny, beautiful day here in the city so we decided to go for a walk to the "polo fields" which used to belong to Bogotá's country club, but are no longer in use and now serve the purpose of a public park. We put Eli in the stroller and walked about five blocks to the fields. The sky was clear and the temperature mild and pleasant. There were runners jogging around the perimeter of the field which appears to be approximately the size of two football fields. Families were playing soccer in various parts of the park and teenagers were lying in the grass, giggling and gossiping. It was lovely. We walked around the entire field once while Eli jabbered and played with his blanket. On the way back to the apartment, he reached one little hand out and caught my finger, holding it tight in his grasp. So, this is how we walked home: Jamie pushing the stroller and me walking along beside them, holding my son's tiny hand.

At the old polo grounds in Bogotá

It was so nice out; we didn't want to go back indoors. But, it gets dark here every night at six o'clock and so, we spent the last twenty minutes or so of daylight walking around the grounds of our hotel/apartment complex. It is very serene here. The grounds are so well cared for and quite picturesque.

Back inside, I fed Eli successfully again and then he played for awhile on his own while Jamie got dinner going. He started to get cranky again around 7pm; those teeth are really bothering him. When either of us hold him and he is fussy like that, he burrows his head into us and bites on our shoulders. I've been giving him the babyganics teething gel which is made with only natural clove oil and stevia, and it seems to really help. He's even starting to take it willingly, opening his mouth and biting down on the q-tip when I apply it to his lower gum area.

Around 7:30, his eyes started to droop and we gave him a bottle which he gulped back again, eagerly. Poor little guy must have been starving after denying himself food for two days! He went down in his crib quietly and is sleeping now.

Jamie and I do the same things each day- the simple things: prepare a meal, wash dishes, play with our son, talk to family, hold Eli and sing to him, go for a walk, change a diaper, make a bottle, put our child to bed. I know life won't be this quiet once we return to our part of the world in a few weeks, and there's a part of me that is anxious to share our "normal" life with Eli. But, this is not so bad...In fact, it is quite good and sweet. The simplest things take on a whole new meaning when you are doing them for the child you love, the child you call your own. My time here in Colombia is reminding me that simplicity is a gift. I hope we can take some of it home with us, when we return to Buffalo.